Gracing Us with Your Presents
by dcj
Summary: Surrogate epilogue for Requesting the Honor of Your Presents. Andy returns from the task force to find that the people she loves have shown her that they care too.
1. Chapter 1

I had originally planned to do an epilogue for Requesting the Honor of Your Presents, but what I started writing just didn't seem to fit. I was happy with the way I ended RTHOYP and although the tone was bittersweet it was also very hopeful. As I started writing **this** 'epilogue', the tone was hopeful but definitely not as bittersweet. McSwarek wanted to get back together sooner rather than later and quick and easy just didn't seem to fit the other story so I didn't want to ruin a good thing. Thus, I have decided to make this a sequel of sorts with a two-part story picking up after Andy's birthday when she and Nick return from Project Dakota. I'm not sure I have the McCollins dynamic down yet but I'm working on it.

I'm told that Baby Best has in fact been named so I have updated the previous story with the proper name. Olivia was my favorite anyway – love that it's so close to Oliver.

Another note to the guest regarding the keys: You're looking for something that isn't there. I glossed over the significance of Sam telling her to keep his keys (in the previous story) because I thought the significance of it was obvious and it was not needed to answer your question – you asked me about **her** keys. It was not meant to diminish Sam's gesture in any way; that was actually one of my favorite parts of the season. To me, that gesture spoke volumes about his feelings; I didn't think it needed to be explained (guess I was wrong). I'm actually a bit saddened that you think I put a negative spin on 'everything Sam did' simply because I didn't explain it fully in my note. All I was trying to do was keep on the bright side and suggest a positive scenario for what Andy could have done and I did say that knowing her she probably wasn't clear enough in getting her point across about him keeping them. (Pretty sure **I'm** not the one with the negative outlook.) **Yes**, that **is** why we have fan fiction but please don't presume that it's so I can portray Sam as 'dense' and Andy as perfect; we're not all out to get him. Probably best we don't do questions and negative presumptions in the future; it's too frustrating not to be able to answer right away and get a proper discussion (and I don't have to put all the other readers through my obsessive need to address comments that upset me and/or try to put words in mouth.)

That said I hope everyone enjoys this. I own nothing Rookie Blue and I thank SairsJ for the extra set of eyes on this.

* * *

Andy placed the key in the lock and smiled when she heard the familiar click. She took a deep breath and twisted the knob. She was Andy McNally again; she was home.

She pushed at the door but instead of going in, she turned around. "You didn't have to come up with me you know. I'm a big girl; I **can** take care of myself."

"I know you can."

"Well you got me to the door so…"

"Are you sure you want to be alone?"

"I have been alone before," she reminded him, trying her best not to recall the six specific weeks when she felt the most alone she had ever felt in her life.

"It's been six months and I…"

"Well, I **was** trying to be nice," she interjected, "but you leave me no choice. I'm actually just sick of seeing your face."

Nick grinned and grabbed her up in a one-armed hug. "No you're not," he disputed. And then he spun her around behind him, pushed the door open and let himself in.

He stopped short as soon as he crossed the threshold and Andy ran right into the back of him. "What the…"

"Wow, someone sure loves you."

"What are you…"

Nick pulled Andy out from behind him so she could see into her apartment. She looked around in awe. There were sheets covering most of the surfaces and instead of smelling musty and dirty, it felt fresh as if someone had been coming in regularly to clean and air it out.

Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she took in the sight. "Did Luke say anything to you about someone coming in? I mean he did take our keys."

Nick was shaking his head. "I think he said someone is supposed to but Andy this is not the work of some department lackey."

Andy traveled around the room and immediately started to remove the sheets. Nick came up beside her to grab a corner of the linen and help keep the dust from falling back onto the floor and furniture. "I'm guessing it wasn't your Dad, maybe your Mom or Traci?"

Andy shoved the dirty sheet into Nick's hand and moved onto the next one. "I don't think so; neither of them have a key."

Nick followed behind Andy. "You really should give someone a spare; you know in case you get locked out or in case you need them to come in for you. Do you want me to get one made for you?"

"No I've already…" Andy's eyes grew wide.

"What?"

Andy shoved the second sheet into Nick's hand and rushed over to remove the one covering the couch and side table.

"Hey, wait," he warned her, but the dust was the least of her concerns.

She picked the keys up out of the tray and then turned to lean against the table; her brow wrinkled in contemplation. "No… he… but I…"

"Andy, come on; what's going on?"

She lifted her eyes from her hands but she really wasn't seeing him. "He has a key," she revealed on a breath.

Nick continued to look at her in confusion but then his eyes grew wide as realization washed over him. "You gave Swarek the key to your house; you never told me that."

"I, um, I didn't really give it to him," she tried to explain, "I mean…"

"What?"

She blew out a long breath. "When he gave me the keys to his truck, I put my house keys on there; it was easier. I didn't want to carry around two sets."

That part made sense, but Nick also knew that Sam had asked her to return them. "You didn't take them off when he asked for them back?"

Andy frowned. "If you recall, I wasn't in the best of places at the end of that day."

_At the start of the day either, if he remembered correctly_. "No, but why didn't you ask for them back the next day or the day after that?"

A slight blush colored Andy's cheeks before she dropped her head back down to study the keys again.

Nick placed what he hoped was a comforting hand on her arm. "Andy, why?"

She shook her head. "I guess… I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I wanted to leave it in his hands." She took a quick glance up at Nick before continuing, "I figured if he found them and gave them back to me, then I would know for sure it was over."

"You didn't think him asking for his back was enough?"

She huffed out a breath. "I know; it's stupid."

"Did he even know they were there?"

"I don't know," she lamented. "I mean I guess he does now if he came in here…" She was afraid to hope though. "Maybe Traci just borrowed them or picked the lock or asked the..."

Nick was shaking his head. "I don't think so."

Andy wasn't so sure. "I left him Nick."

"He left first."

"But then he tried and I…" A defeated breath escaped her lips and her head dropped further to her chest.

"No, it has to be him," Nick assured her. "He said he'd take out your garbage right?" Nick lifted the sheet off the island and bundled it into his hands with the other ones. He pulled the empty container out from under the sink. "Exhibit A; I knew it smelled too good in here. And he said he'd cook you dinner too, right? I'm starving, maybe we should…"

Andy's wide eyes shot up_; she definitely missed him but she wasn't sure she was ready to face him quite yet and what if it wasn't him or what if he changed his mind._

Nick could see that she wasn't as composed as she was trying to let on. "I'm staying," he announced as he returned the garbage can to its proper place under the sink.

"Aren't you sick of me yet?" She tried again.

Nick flashed her a smile as he dropped the sheets down against the wall and then turned to open the fridge, his voice echoed out from inside of it. "If you had asked me about five minutes ago, I would have said yes, right up until I walked in here. Pretty sure no one did this for me," he announced holding up two beers from a fresh six pack. "In fact, my place may be worse than I left it if Gail got in there." He set the two beers on the counter before turning back and tugging the freezer door open. His head immediately popped back around. "Oh my God, you have real food too; he did cook you dinner."

"What?" Andy jumped up from the couch and was halfway to the kitchen.

Nick was already pulling out a pre-made lasagne when Andy came up beside him. Her feet stayed glued to the floor as she studied the contents in awe; there were at least four different casserole dishes frozen inside.

The latch on the microwave pulled her from her thoughts. "It'll take too long in the oven; I'm putting this in the microwave," Nick announced.

"Hey."

"What?" Nick replied innocently, as he continued to open up the casserole and get it ready for the microwave. "We haven't been able to eat anything decent for months. We were up all night with the debrief, we missed breakfast, and it's," he looked at his watch, "after lunch. You can't tell me you're not hungry."

Well, not anymore she couldn't; the second he started talking about food she realized just how starving she was. "Put it in," she conceded.

"That's what I thought," he boasted shutting the door and setting the time. When he turned back around, Andy had just pulled the last sheet away and she appeared to be staring at a plant.

"McNally?"

Andy grinned and slid out of the way to reveal her Christmas stocking and at least three presents sitting beside the plant. There was one lonely ornament suspended from the stalk.

"Swarek?" He guessed.

Andy shrugged trying not to get her hopes up. _Would Sam have done this? Maybe Traci did ask him about a key. He really didn't seem like the type. Last Christmas she wasn't around and her first Christmas at Fifteen she could only remember him grumbling about the traffic and the lines at the grocery store._

"McNally," he tried again.

She looked up at him with a smile.

"You think it **was** him," he smirked.

Andy flipped her shoulders up again. "Mostly I just like hearing my real name."

"Amen to that," Nick said, handing her one of the beers from the counter and taking the sheet from her hand to put with the rest of them. He tilted his head towards the makeshift Christmas tree. "Wanna open them up?"

Andy didn't give him an answer instead she took a sip of her beer and then bent down to inspect the presents. Apart from the stocking, there were actually four items from Traci, Leo, Tommy and Sam. She ran her hand across Sam's name.

Nick watched her in silence for a few moments. "You can open them if you want," he offered. "I won't be offended."

"Maybe in a minute," she answered standing up. "I know we showered at Twenty-Seven but I really want to put my own clothes on."

"He probably did your laundry too," Nick pouted enviously.

Andy pointed her finger back at him. "You **can** go home you know?"

Nick shook his head. "Nice try but you won't get rid of me that easily."

Andy's eyes started to cloud over at the words that were just too similar to ones she heard so many months ago. She flipped on her heel and darted into her room to avoid Nick's scrutiny. "I'll be right back," she sputtered out.

Nick furrowed his brow as he thought back over the last few minutes. It took him a second but he finally recalled a late night conversation when they were only a month into the undercover. "Andy?"

She had headed straight for her dresser but couldn't see anything through the cloud of tears blocking her vision. She knew he had pieced it together by the tone of his voice. She swiped at the tear that was making its way down her cheek. "I'm good, Nick," she called back, proud that her voice only cracked a little. "Can you check on the lasagne?"

"Sure."

Andy heard him open the door to the microwave and turned to toss her fresh clothes onto the bed. Her hand flew up to her mouth when she gasped at the sight. There, on top of her pillow, sat a gift wrapped in birthday paper. The writing on the envelope was unmistakably Sam's.

She startled when Nick snuck up behind her and peered over her shoulder. "I can go if you like," he offered.

Andy shook her head as she swiped away another tear. "No, no, it's fine. I can't eat a whole lasagne anyway."

Nick nudged at her shoulder. "I've seen you eat, remember?"

Andy dropped her chin in defiance, but he just put his hand on her arm and pulled her in for another awkward hug. "And besides, I meant **after** I ate."

Andy was able to choke out a small laugh. "You can stay as long as you like."

Nick nodded over to the present. "You want to open it now?"

Andy shifted her gaze back to the pillow. "How long till food?" She wondered.

"At least ten minutes maybe more." He watched her face as she appeared to debate her options in her head.

"I haven't watched a decent TV in months so I'm going… just…"

Andy didn't even look at him as he left. She picked up the present trying to figure out why and when_. It must mean something though if he left it there for her; I mean it had to be a sign right? A sign that he had waited and missed her. But then her birthday had been months ago so things could have easily changed since then. But the house was clean. But that could have been Traci. She knew the lasagne wasn't Traci but that could have been months ago too._

"Ugh!" Well, her overthinking definitely hadn't changed. She tossed the present to the bed and started to change her clothes.

"Everything okay?" she heard Nick ask, his voice getting closer.

She yanked her shirt on quickly. Sure they had lived together for the past six months but there was a line. "I'm good," she assured him. "Be right out."

"Okay," he answered hesitantly.

His footsteps appeared to be retreating though and Andy breathed out a sigh of relief as she tugged on her pants. She eyed the package one more time but left it on the bed before turning towards the door.

Nick looked up as soon as she entered the living room. "Swarek?"

Andy nodded.

Nick's face was the picture of sincerity. "Seriously, Andy, I **can** leave. You don't even have to feed me."

Andy offered him a small smile of gratitude. "It's the least I can do."

"Damn right," he retorted, trying to lighten things up. "You would have been lost without me for the past six months."

With a tilt of her head, Andy quirked an eyebrow. "Pretty sure it wasn't a one way street, Buddy."

Nick tugged her down onto the couch. "Which is why I owe you and am now keeping you company."

Andy shook her head and chuckled softly. "Thank you."

Nick flashed his smile. "You're welcome. Now how about some Christmas cheer?"

"Sure, why not?"

Nick got up and grabbed her presents from the makeshift tree and placed them on the coffee table in front of her. She automatically reached for the biggest one.

He slapped at her hand. "Uh, uh, uh… stockings first; you know that."

Andy shook her head but relented; she did know that. Even if it hadn't been the tradition in her house growing up, Nick had made sure she knew it when they were undercover. He had gone out and bought them each a cheap, dollar store stocking which they filled with small things they missed from home. And he had insisted the stockings be completely emptied before he even let her think about opening his gift to her. It wasn't much, but it was the best they could do under the circumstances, and at the time, it was enough.

Andy pulled her stocking from the pile and slid the first item out. She smiled as soon as she saw what it was, a DVD of the movie Bridesmaids.

"That's a good one," Nick commented. "Who's it from?"

"Trace." She didn't even have to look at the note; they had seen the movie together in the theatre and were still laughing about it the next day. "See." She showed Nick the tag: _For our first Girls' Night after you get back!_ Andy couldn't wait.

Nick smiled at her excitement; he had been a little concerned when they left Twenty-Seven after the debrief. She had been extremely quiet and contemplative and he had worried that if he left her alone she would spend the whole night thinking about Swarek and what if. It had taken him at least two solid months to get her past that on the op and he sure as hell didn't want her falling back into it. One good thing, it looked like Swarek was still all in so it was definitely going to make it easier on her. He wished he could say the same for himself.

"Hey." Andy poked her elbow into his side.

"Huh?"

Andy was looking at him uneasily and he realized he had been lost in his own thoughts. "What's next?" He asked in an overly enthusiastic tone.

She dropped her chin and eyed him up; she was worried about him too. He hadn't spent a lot of time dwelling on things with Gail but that meant he kept it all inside. Now that they were back she knew he couldn't avoid it for much longer, and she couldn't help but wonder if that was why he was staying with her, if he was trying to put it off as long as possible.

"Come on McNally. You know you want to," he tried again.

Andy shook her head but pulled out a bundle of tissue paper and began to unwrap it. "It's a mug."

Nick started to laugh before twisting the cup in her hand. Where she could only see white, he could see exactly who the gift was from. Once the decoration was in plain view, she joined in Nick's laughter. The mug was adorned with a Santa Claus **and** a Menorah and read 'Oy to the World'.

"Epstein," they guessed at the same time.

"I love it," Andy announced before reaching her hand back into the stocking.

This time she pulled out another tissue wrapped treasure out. As she twisted the wrapping away, she found a jar filled with what appeared to be baking ingredients. She set it down on her lap and looked at the tag that was affixed to the jar with ribbon. "Muffin in a Jar," she read aloud.

"Well, we know that can't be from Gail," Nick muttered.

Andy could see that he meant it as a joke but the humor seemed to get lost somewhere right before he said her name out loud.

Andy set the jar down onto the coffee table and placed her hand on Nick's knee. She didn't say anything, just offered him a small smile and a measured blink of understanding before reaching back into the stocking.

She slid out the last gift that they knew would have to be from Gail. It was eye shadow; an expensive brand the two had been looking at the last time they went shopping together. The note read 'I still say it's the lips'. Andy smiled at the memory of a girls' night discussion so long ago. She took a quick glance at Nick and could see his facade dropping a little.

"We'll get your stocking as soon as we can," she promised him.

"You think she got me anything?" He wondered wringing his hands out in his lap.

Andy reached out to still them. "I don't know, sorry."

Nick was shaking his head. "I really don't think she did. I think she's going to be mad as hell."

Andy had no idea. Gail was pretty good at holding a grudge, but she really thought Gail's feelings ran deep so she wanted to be hopeful. "She might surprise you. I…"

"Like Swarek surprised you?"

She was okay about getting Nick's hopes up but she was still a little leery about her own. "It could have been…"

Nick huffed out a disbelieving breath. "Come on Andy, sure, Traci could have helped but there are at least two gifts here you **know** are from him and that lasagne…"

"What?"

He couldn't believe she didn't realize. "Every time you smell the air you smile."

"Oh." She had no idea she was doing it. She had really missed his cooking, but that was only part of it. She wasn't ready to totally give in though. "How do you know I'm not thinking about Traci?"

"It's a different smile," he answered surely.

_Six months together and he could read her almost as well as…_ Andy finally dropped the charade. "I can't believe that he… after I…"

"He told you he loved you."

_And then I walked away. _"Gail loves you too," she countered.

Nick wasn't so sure; she'd never said. And when he found out from Luke that she had been reinstated he was afraid that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. "I hope you're right."

They both sat in silence for a few more minutes. "Come on, partner. Let's see how good you were this year."

Andy grinned at him. "Oh, I was **real** good," she bragged.

"Six months living together and I still have to just take your word for it," he countered.

"Hey!"

Nick laughed more than happy to move on to lighter topics. "Who's first?"

Andy quickly grabbed an unkempt looking package. "Leo!" She chose happily.

Nick shouldn't have been surprised but he was. The gift was not wrapped well, obviously done by a children's hand yet Andy was so delicate with it, like she was afraid to ruin the paper. "Just rip it off."

Andy slapped his hand away. "My present, my technique."

When she finally pulled the last of the paper away it was a game, Travel Battleship. Andy held it in the air for Nick to see. "If you tell me you wanted to be in the Navy in your former life, I'm going to have to reconsider our friendship."

Andy threw another elbow into his side. "It's for camping and it's a great game."

"Eh, if you like that kind of thing I guess."

"Well, Leo and I do so…"

She stuck her tongue out at him but she had to lunge back quickly when Nick tried to grab at it. "Didn't your father ever teach you that's rude."

"Guess it didn't take," Andy retorted.

Nick huffed out a chuckle. "Yeah, and neither did don't talk with your mouth full, keep your elbows off the table…"

"Like living with my grandmother," Andy muttered as she picked up a tall thin gift bag.

Nick was still chuckling when Andy revealed a bottle of wine. "My favorite," Andy commented before she sucked in a loud breath.

"What?"

Andy spun the carafe in her hands. Draped over it was a beautiful silver necklace with an open heart pendant on it. And if that wasn't enough there was an inscription: 'A True Friend Reaches For Your Hand But Touches Your Heart'. It brought tears to Andy's eyes.

"Hey," Nick urged. "You okay?"

Andy shook her head. "I'm good. I just… I miss her."

"Well, not for long, right? You can call her whenever you want now."

Andy nodded and offered Nick a watery smile. "Yeah… I will… soon."

Nick dipped his head in understanding then took the bottle from her hands and placed it on the coffee table beside the jar. "Next?"

Andy picked up a flat envelope with her father's handwriting on the outside. Lifting the tab, she slid the card out and flipped it open. The message was simple: _'Merry Christmas, Sweetheart. I'll be expecting a visit so we can do this for real. Love, Dad.'_

The tears she shed over Traci's gift hadn't even dried before the trail started down her cheeks again. It was just… She had spent the last six months, well more like four because those first couple months were a little shaky, keeping her mind off of home. But now, there was nothing stopping her from thinking about all the people she loved, all the people she left behind. It was just a lot to take in.

Nick fidgeted beside her. "I had your name, you know, for the Rookie gift thing, but I didn't have a chance to get you anything."

Andy drew in a stuttered breath. "You don't have to; you gave me Christmas… at the apartment."

"That wasn't Christmas," Nick huffed.

"It was enough. You knew I was struggling and you took care of me. You still are."

"I'll always have your back," Nick promised, "but I think it's someone else's turn to take care of you now." He nodded towards the last unopened gift.

Andy followed his gaze to Sam's present as the bell on the microwave went off. Nick laid a soft hand on her shoulder as he got up. "Be right back."

A few minutes later, he brought back two plates already served up and two more beers. They ate quietly side by side both thinking about the one's they cared about most and wondering how they would feel knowing they were back.

Ironically it was Nick who broke the silence. "Too bad he didn't think about garlic bread huh?"

Andy grinned through her last mouthful savoring the taste. "Wouldn't want to spoil you."

Nick raised a dubious brow. "No, but I'm guessing he didn't have me in mind when he did this so…"

The color in Andy's cheeks deepened for only a second before her eyes lit up. "Did you see any ice cream?"

Nick didn't even get a chance to answer before she scurried to the fridge. She opened up the door for the freezer and pushed a few things around. Sure enough, her favorite ice cream was in there.

She dished them each up a bowl and sat back down. They ate in comfortable silence for a while before Nick asked, "Are you going to open it?" He was nodding towards the Christmas gift from Sam again.

"I don't know," she answered nervously.

"Andy, he left it here for you. He obviously wanted you to have it. It can't be bad."

"I know; I'm just… what if…" She was so afraid to hope.

"Andy, he obviously had the key, he could have taken the present back any time."

_She hadn't thought of it that way. The fact that it was still there must have meant something. _She took a deep breath and then a quick peek at Nick before she picked up the package from the table and studied it.

"Do you want me to give you a minute?"

"What?" She looked startled but recovered quickly. "No, it's fine."

"You sure? Could be lingerie."

Andy blushed a deep red. _It's not like she didn't make an effort; she did usually match. But she had never consciously gone out and bought a sexy lingerie set just to impress Sam. She had seriously been considering it for him for Christmas, but he wouldn't… would he… I mean when she…_ She shook her head. "I don't think that's it."

"You sure? Six months without…"

If possible, the color of her cheeks got even redder. "Oh My God, Nick." Still she slowly lifted the lid off the gift and peered inside before fully opening it up.

"What is it?"

A small chuckle escaped her lips and a smile soon followed as she held the book up to Nick.

"It's a book," Nick noted unnecessarily. He didn't get it; it didn't seem that great and it wasn't at all personal yet Andy seemed delighted.

"Not just any book," Andy replied, "it's The Book of Awesome."

"Oh-kay."

Nick waited for an explanation but all Andy did was shake her head and smile some more. She took the book and opened it up; a piece of paper slid out onto her lap.

She looked at the paper and then up at Nick; her eyes were wide.

"I'm sure it won't be bad," Nick encouraged.

Andy picked up the paper that had been folded in half. She lifted it open and drank in every word.

"Andy?"

She turned to Nick and a tear rolled down her face. "It's a song," she whispered.

"What do you mean?"

She handed the paper over to Nick and he read through the words that had been printed on it. It was titled 'Giving me a Chance' by Gotye:

_You know I never want to let you down  
It cuts me up to see you sad  
And I wish that I could undo what I've done  
Get back the faith in me you had_

_Oh yeah_  
_Oh yeah_

_**You know I love you more than anyone**__  
Might get a little wrapped up in myself  
But you know I never want to do you wrong  
Bring you to question what we have_

_Oh yeah_  
_I know I let you down_  
_I know I let you down_  
_But you're giving me a chance_

_Oh yeah_  
_I know I let you down_  
_I know I let you down  
But you're giving me a chance. _

It wasn't lost on Nick that the words 'You know I love you more than anyone' somehow stood out more than the others.

He handed it back to Andy. "Wow, that's…"

She swallowed but couldn't find the words. The lump in her throat was making it impossible to say anything. She blew out a long shuddering breath but finally just nodded and moved her eyes back to the paper.

"You know what that means right?" Nick nodded towards the sheet in her hand.

"What?" Andy was able to squeak out.

"It must mean…" He grinned over at her, "You're not unlovable."

Andy choked out a laugh that sounded almost as much like a sob.

Nick stood and placed a soothing hand on her shoulder waiting while she took a few steadying breaths. When he was satisfied, he picked up their dirty dishes and took them into the kitchen to load in the dishwasher. He packaged up the leftover lasagne and put it in the fridge.

Andy was still running her hands over the words of the song and periodically swiping at her cheeks when he returned to the living room. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Nick."

He started rambling almost immediately. "You're tired right; we should just…"

Andy nodded to herself before she turned to look at Nick. "It's still early; don't you want to talk to her?"

"You going to talk to Swarek?" He countered.

Andy shrugged. "I might."

He quirked an eyebrow at her, but she just mirrored it right back at him.

The battle of wills didn't last long; it was Nick that broke first. "I just need tonight," he conceded, "okay? I can't do it when I'm not firing on all cylinders."

Andy's eyes softened. "You should go home and get some real sleep then."

Nick pushed his shoulder into hers. "Are you still trying to get rid of me?"

Andy pursed her lips. "You'll sleep better at home; my couch is not that great."

"You're going to make me take the couch? Did the last six months mean nothing to you?" He mocked feigning hurt.

"Nick," she cautioned.

His shoulders slumped in defeat. "I know."

"Why don't you want to go home?"

"I told you; it's not half as nice as this. No food, probably filthy." _Empty._

He didn't need to say it out loud for Andy to get it. She probably would have felt the same if she hadn't come home and found… everything. The lump was back. She cleared her throat. "I'm going to try to get some sleep. I'm afraid I don't have any extra sheets though," she gestured towards the dirty pile on the floor, "but I can get you a blanket."

"That would be great."

After getting Nick settled, Andy threw the sheets in the washing machine and then turned towards her bedroom. Nick didn't say a word when she picked up the book and note and took them with her.

She placed them down on the nightstand and headed to the bathroom to clean up.

With her face washed and her teeth brushed, she lowered the blinds and then crawled under the covers clothes and all. She shut her eyes but couldn't seem to get comfortable. She tossed and turned for a few minutes before her eyes drifted open again. She found herself staring at the birthday present on the other side of the bed. She shook her head and flopped her body over only to come face to face with the book on her nightstand. It was a losing battle and she knew it.

She sat up on the mattress and propped her pillow up behind her. She grabbed the book from the nightstand and flipped through the first few pages; one of them used to be blank. Her eyes started to cloud over for what felt like the hundredth time that day. The message was short and sweet - '_I heard the song and the words said more than I ever could. I'd really like that chance if you'll give it to me. I've forgotten what awesome feels like anymore; I'm hoping you can remind me.'_

The tears were running freely down her cheeks. She closed the book and set it back down on the table. She took a deep breath and reached out to the other side of the bed and gathered up the birthday present. The envelope came off easily in her hand; she turned it over to lift the flap and slid the card out. She opened it up and every surface of the card was filled with Sam's writing. She sucked in a ragged breath as she wiped at her face.

"Andy?"

"Night, Nick," she managed to sniffle out.

He sighed resignedly. "Night, Andy."

She let her watery eyes fall back down to the card: _Happy Birthday, Andy!_

* * *

A.N. I have just changed my settings to allow for moderation of guest reviews. Any reviews that bash Sam or Andy for what happened here or on the show will simply be deleted. I apologize for all of my rants; I don't plan on wasting any more of our time dwelling on the negative.


	2. Chapter 2

Did I say a two-part story? I meant three :)

As with the previous story, the written words of the note are written in italics with Andy's actions scattered in between in parentheses.

I struggled a little with the note. We all know how reserved Sam is; he doesn't give up his feelings easily. But I also think that he must realize that he's going to have to step it up for this to work and he did have a lot of time to work on it, so if you go on that assumption... I hope I didn't go too far. It's probably more what I want him to say than what he would say, but I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks again to SairsJ who always makes time to give my stories the once over for me.

* * *

She let her watery eyes fall back down to the card.

_Happy Birthday, Andy!_

_If you're reading this, I'll thank Collins, God, hell even Callaghan; you're home. _(Andy blew out a long shaky breath and blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to clear the blanket of tears that were keeping her from fully appreciating his words.)

_I'm still not good at this, but I'm going to try. I was kind of hoping that writing it might make it easier, but I have to tell you it's a good thing I bought a whole box of these cards. _(Andy could feel the butterflies swirling in her stomach at the thought of Sam really and truly making an effort to let her in.)_ I can only hope to do as well as you did and that this will mean as much to you as your note meant to me. _(Andy smiled softly. It seemed so long ago that she wrote that note and gave it to Jerry along with the picture. So much had changed since then; she had even forgotten about the gift. But right now she couldn't have been happier that she had. She didn't even want to imagine where they would be if she had found a way to get it back, if Sam had never gotten it, if he might have...)_ I've read it so many times I could probably recite it word for word. Thank you, Andy. Thank you for sharing yourself with me; I know that by the time I got the note a lot of things had changed but not my feelings for you. No matter what I did or said Andy that never changed. I hope you can believe me. And your note, it got me through; it didn't make the waiting any easier but it reminded me why I wanted, no needed, to do it. _(Andy's eyes started to tear up again. She closed them for a brief moment as she reveled in the feelings that washed over her. He had waited.)

(Andy took a deep breath and opened her eyes again.) _And the picture. I'm sorry but I just couldn't put it up with the rest of them like you asked. I couldn't do it. _(Andy's head flopped back onto the pillow as she willed the tears to stay away. He said he had waited so why couldn't he put it up? She knew they still had a long way to go and maybe that's what he meant; maybe they just weren't there yet. She had to believe that. She looked back down to the page.) _It means too much to just be lumped in with all the others ones. _(What?) _So I put it on the nightstand beside my bed. _(Andy let out a short soggy chuckle of relief.) _It's one of my favorite pictures now too and I look at it every day. It makes me a little sad because it reminds me of what I let slip away. But it also makes me happy because it shows me how much you loved me. And how much I loved you… do love you. Wow, it still sounds awkward but for a totally different reason. _(Andy smiled. To her, it wasn't awkward; it was amazing.)

_I miss you, a lot. _(God, she missed him too. Every single day she was gone.)_ And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you when my birthday was. It shouldn't have been that hard; I don't know why I made it that way. I'm glad you cared enough to find a way though, and just so you know, it's December 15__th__. You may not have been here this year, but you still found a way to make it better so I can't wait for the next one. _(Andy couldn't wait either. She picked up her phone and programmed the date in to his contact information just so she wouldn't forget.) _I really did love the present Andy. I mean I would have enjoyed the lingerie… a lot._ (Her heartbeat started to pick up and she could feel the heat warming her cheeks. She wasn't sure if it was the thought of Sam seeing her in lingerie or simply the smirk she knew was on his face as he wrote it. Just the thought of those dimples made her stomach swoop in anticipation of seeing them again, especially directed at her.)_ But I couldn't ask for anything more than us. It's a thing for me too; even if I've shown you otherwise._

_I'm so sorry, Andy. I really am. I don't know what else to say. I hope by the time you get back that I've figured out how to explain it. I'm not even going to try and write it out here now; you deserve to hear it in person anyway, whenever you're ready; it's the least I can do. _(Andy hoped she was ready too. She had been so confused for those six weeks. She knew Sam had his own way of dealing with things and that she probably should have given him more space. But she couldn't bring herself to just abandon him; he was hurting and she couldn't just stand aside and let that happen. She needed him to know that she was there and that she wanted to be there for him for whatever he needed. But he wouldn't even let her do that. It hurt that he didn't want her there and she worried that it might happen again. Could he assure her that it wouldn't? Could she go through this again if it did? Was she ready? Was he? Andy shook her head to rid herself of her own thoughts so she could concentrate on Sam's.)

_I hope it's okay that we came into your house. After I got the birthday gift you gave to Jerry, _(Andy was definitely going to have to ask him how that happened.) _I wanted to make sure to get your Christmas presents to everyone. _(Andy's eyes narrowed; that really didn't sound like him.) _Fine Nash thought everyone should have them I just really wanted to see what you bought, wanted to see something that came from you._ (Andy furrowed her brow and looked towards the closet. She briefly wondered if they had found the other box too.) _She helped me sort through them and took the ones for your friends and your mother. _(She couldn't help the smirk that sprang to her lips, even in writing she could feel his resentment to her mother coming through.) _I delivered your Dad's _(Andy's jaw dropped open and her hand flew to her forehead. Of all the years to get hockey tickets... she would have to apologize to him for that one.) _and of course the ones for Sarah's family. _

_Everyone loved their presents by the way; Epstein probably a little too much. Thanks for that. _(She could picture Sam rolling his eyes but she really couldn't wait to see Dov in the jacket. She would bet money that he was still wearing it every day.) _And Ollie and Frank & Noelle, they were more than happy to take advantage of your kindness. _(Andy had to think about that for a moment and then her eyes sprang wide open when she remembered she had volunteered them to babysit. She flinched a little at Sam's reaction.) _Suffice it to say when I thought about spending New Year's Eve with a girl she did have beautiful brown eyes but she sure as hell did not wear a diaper and nod off at 8pm. _(A giggle sprang forth from Andy's lips until pictures started flashing through her mind - Sam holding baby Olivia, cooing over her, her asleep on his shoulder, him tucking her in. It felt like a New Year's party in her stomach; that was not a sight she would be opposed to seeing.) _Seriously though that was really nice of you to think of my friends too and that kind of gift meant more to them than anything you could buy. Thought you should know I spent Valentine's with three different girls, but don't get jealous _(Her back stiffened; the words I don't get jealous on the tip of her tongue.) _because I really wanted to spend it with just one. It was worth it though because Zoe was actually quite civil to me. I don't think Oliver told her it wasn't my idea because he made me buy him lunch as payback for keeping the secret. _(Andy grinned; that definitely sounded like something Oliver would do.)

_You were right about me; I am a last minute kind of guy or more often than not a 'can I throw in with you' one too. Your planning really helped. And don't ever worry about picking out presents; you are already amazing at it. What you did for my sister and her family – I don't even know what to say except everyone loved Uncle Sammy just a little bit more this year. _(Andy's cheeks flushed a little; they weren't the only ones.)_ You're right we are different but we do complement each other; we ARE a great team. Sarah was more than impressed and told me I better get on it. _(Andy tucked her lower lip under her teeth. She couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time Sarah and her family had even heard about her and just how much he had told them.)

_I hope you had a great birthday and I need you to know how much you mean to me too. I know I didn't show it very well but you do. You gave me us for my birthday and just so you know, you can't take it back. I'm going to do EVERYTHING just like I said starting with your birthday. It wasn't the same without you but breakfast was great and I told Jerry you said hi. _(A huge lump formed in Andy's throat when she realized what Sam meant, when she remembered her birthday wish; she couldn't believe that he had taken her words to heart even when she wasn't there.)

_You gave me us for my birthday. And I know that for there to be an `us', I have to be all in just like you. (_Andy's eyes widened again; that felt like too much of a coincidence. She got up from her bed and pulled her gift box out. The smaller box she had tucked behind it so long ago was still there. She wondered if he had opened it; if he had figured out that it was supposed to be for him until... She glanced back at her present and the note still up on the bed and decided that she would check the box fully later. She really wanted to hear more from Sam; she got back up, crawled under the covers again and picked up the note._) So here I am this is me and I'm all yours. _

Andy set the note down and began removing the paper from the gift assuming that's what he meant by his cryptic words. Her fingers were trembling as she tried to remove the tape. She let go of everything for a second and shook out her hands hoping to steady them and her nerves. Once she could remove the lid from the box, Andy pulled apart the tissue surrounding it. Her mouth dropped open; it was a photo album. The anticipation was killing her; it had to be...

She flipped it open to the first page. There was a picture of a man and a woman with a small dark haired baby that she assumed had to be Sam. She didn't know how old he was but she could already see the tiny dimples forming in his cheeks. The next one was the same small family except with a young girl in it as well. She was smiling with the same dimples as little her brother and from what Andy could see, as their father as well.

Andy flipped through the pages drinking in every detail, Sam as a small child – he looked so happy; another family picture, but this time the father was noticeably absent. There were a few more of Sam and Sarah as fun loving children but the second Andy flipped to the next page she could feel an instant change. There was an entirely different family staring back at her, the mother and father were blond with blue eyes and although the same daughter and son were present, the smiles appeared forced and the young girl's eyes were just...blank. Andy studied the photo for a few more seconds but had to turn from it; it hurt her heart just to look at it.

After that, there were few more family pictures but in each one everyone seemed to be guarding their own personal space. Andy let out a long sigh; that was one part of Sam's life she was definitely curious about but she also knew it was going to be hard on both of them to dredge it up.

Thankfully, when she flipped the page again, the smiles were back; there were pages of Sam, Oliver, Jerry, Frank and Noelle through the academy, graduating and what looked like their rookie initiation into Fifteen. Not surprisingly Noelle was drinking the shot with her hands while the boys held the glasses in their mouths as their arms remained cuffed behind their backs. Andy leaned her head in close and squinted her eyes as she looked into the background; she huffed out a disbelieving breath. She could just make out Boyd in the background. He appeared to be holding court with what she recognized as the detectives her Dad used to work with; none of them looked overly impressed. She didn't blame them; she was sure even back then he was an ass.

On the last two pages, Sam included a recent picture of Sarah's family and finished with one of him and Andy. She slid her hands along the image of Sam from top to toe, trying her best to pull his essence straight from the page. She loved the picture and she loved him. With a smile, she set down the album and recaptured the note.

_Sarah made the album for me, well for me to give to you. I have a few pictures but she kept most of the old ones so she had the reprints done and put them in the album. I thought about writing on them for you but then decided I'd rather tell you about them in person. You've probably guessed a little about my dad, about the foster stuff maybe, but I have so many stories about the academy that I know you'll like and maybe you can tell me a few about your time there too. _(Andy chuckled, she definitely had some stories he would get a kick out of.)_ There has got to be a reason why you are so close, but then I guess I'm closest to the friends I met there too. _

_The picture of Sarah's family is from this Christmas. That's Sarah and her husband Dan. Their oldest son is Connor, then my niece Emma and the little hellion is Max. I really hope to introduce you in person though... soon. _

_The last picture __**I**__ put in. I hope you can tell that I love you._(Andy let out another long, slow breath; he had written it more times in this card than... She got up to get a glass of water from the bathroom so she could wash down the lump in her throat. She saw it as plain as day… in both of their faces. Even way back then she loved him, and when she finally let herself say it, she couldn't believe how good it felt. And even though she told him he didn't have to, it felt really good hearing it back.)

_I just want you to know that you make me happy and I'm thankful for you every day. I don't have to imagine my life without you in it because I lived it, and I don't ever want to do it again. _(The waterworks had started up again. She knew exactly what he meant and she never wanted to feel that way again either.)

_I know I said I can't be a cop and be with you, but where there's a will there's a way. You might be surprised at what I came up with. I can't wait to tell you. _(Andy's head jerked up and her brow began to wrinkle. What? He had already been thinking about it. What could he have done?)

_Call me when you get back okay? I don't want you to worry about anything; it's all good. I want this and I hope you do too._

_Love, Sam_

_PS I may have grumbled, but I was happy to come with you to your Dad's that night even if the surprise __**was**__ on us. _(Andy laughed; she had definitely not been expecting her Dad to have company. But she was happy for him and hoped that he was still doing well.)

_PPS: Nash and I took turns airing the place out and keeping it clean for you. The food was actually her idea, but the ice cream was my treat._

_Happy Birthday, Andy. I love you._

Andy set down the note and picked up her phone. She stared at it for a few minutes trying to decide what she wanted to do, what she could even say after six months._ And then what about Traci? She and Sam were obviously working together in keeping Andy's place clean; she really needed to talk to her too._ Andy's head flopped back onto the pillow as she contemplated the right thing to say, but nothing would come. Finally she decided to just text them both a 'thanks' and see what happened.

* * *

Sam and Traci were sitting in their office reviewing witness testimonies. They still had a few hours left in their shift and they were both looking forward to the day just being done. They had hit a road block on their latest case and were hoping that the review might stir up something new but so far no luck.

Sam tossed his file onto his desk and stood up to stretch his legs. "You need a refill?" He asked Traci gesturing towards her mug after he picked up his own.

"Yeah, that would be great."

She held the cup out to him and he scooped it up with his free hand just as his phone started to vibrate. He fumbled with the mugs before finally pulling the cell free from his pocket just as he reached the door. He stopped dead in his tracks.

Traci hadn't noticed Sam's hesitation because her phone had alerted her to a text as well. She was still staring at the screen when Sam pivoted back to look at her, his eyes wide.

She looked up at him with the same disbelieving look. Her eyes dropped back to the screen and then up at Sam and then the screen again. "It's from Andy," she whispered.

"Me too," he echoed, saluting her with his own phone.

"What did she say?"

Sam pursed his lips. "Haven't looked. You?"

"Me either. Do you think it means…"

"She's back," Sam murmured, confirming her thoughts.

Traci nodded_; she wouldn't have been able to contact them otherwise. If she had her own phone, it must mean she was home so it had to be good news._

She looked over at Sam again and he motioned like she should read it. He had already sat back down, fresh coffee long forgotten.

They opened it up at the same time. It was short and sweet and addressed to both: 'Thank you.'

Traci furrowed her brow; it wasn't like Andy to be so succinct even in a text. Sam was scowling but more because he worried that it was too detached. _She must know by now…_

After a few seconds of silence, Traci offered up a theory. "Maybe she just wanted to reach out. You know, let us know she was home obviously and that she appreciated what we did." She shrugged a shoulder. "I guess she's leaving it up to us what we do with it."

Sam was scowling. "I think I put myself out there enough, Nash. Don't you think it's her turn?"

Traci offered him a soft smile of understanding, and insight only a best friend would have. "Sam, she's probably scared; she disappeared without a word and she has no idea if you left that stuff last week, last month or last year."

Sam was shaking his head. "I was there on the weekend; there's no way she doesn't know that's recent and if I wanted to take back the presents I could have."

Traci was shrugging again. "Unless you forgot or didn't bother. Sam, I think this was her way of reaching out and I for one am going to take full advantage. I'm glad she's back and I want her to know it."

Sam huffed out an indignant breath. "And you think I'm not…"

"No," she interjected. "I'm just saying six months has been too long and I'm not wasting any time being mad. Hell, it could have been me and I would have wanted her to welcome me back happily."

Sam tapped in a couple of words and then stared at the screen. When he looked up Traci was typing furiously on her phone.

'_You're home then?'_

'_Yeah, just got here a bit ago. Thanks for everything.'_

Traci took a quick peek up at Sam. _'It wasn't just me.'_

'_I know. Is he…'_

Traci didn't wait for Andy's response before sending her another. _'We'll catch up later okay; I know I'm not the only one who missed you ;) Call me.'_

Traci looked up at Sam. "She's back."

Sam watched as she set her phone back down on the desk; he furrowed his brow. "That's it; you're done. You don't want to…"

Traci waved him off. "We'll catch up later. I just thought there were other people she might want to talk with too," she added pointedly.

Sam blew out a soft breath and hit send on his phone.

* * *

Andy didn't have to wait long for a reply. She tried not to be too disappointed that it wasn't Sam that responded first but decided he was probably busy. She exchanged a few simple texts with Traci, and when her friend begged off quickly she couldn't help but wonder if Sam had said anything to her.

Her phone buzzed again. _'You're Welcome.'_

Andy smiled when she saw his name pop up, and her fingers sped over the keys. _'I can't believe you did this'_

'_Good thing?'_

Andy started typing immediately. _'Great thing. Thank you.' _She didn't want him to second guess himself, and just to make sure, she didn't even give him a chance to formulate an answer before she sent the next message. _'You really did do it all. You took out my garbage, you cooked.'_

'_To be honest, Nash did most of the cooking.'_

Andy smiled; she could just picture the look on his face. For as cocky as he could be, he was also very humble and he never took the credit when it wasn't his. _'Not all of it. Lasagne was great. You been walking my dog too?'_ Andy giggled hoping it would make him smile too.

_':) Sorry, no.'_

'_Two out of three ain't bad.'_

'_It is when Oliver sang it on karaoke night last week.'_

Andy barked out a laugh but then immediately covered her mouth to stifle it; she didn't want to wake up Nick. She listened for a few seconds but couldn't hear anything from the other room. She re-read Sam's note trying to decide on an appropriate response. Her eyes widened and her heart rate picked up at an errant thought. _Should she? _Her fingers hovered over the keys for a few seconds till she finally resolved herself to just do it. _'Almost makes me wish I was there.'_

She leaned back against the headboard, took a deep breath and waited.

'_Oh yeah, what would you sing?'_

Andy pursed her lips. _'All by myself?'_

She waited, but nothing came through. After a couple of minutes, she worried that maybe she went too far. She was just contemplating another text to undo what she had done when her phone came to life in her hand. She looked down as Sam's name flashed up on the screen. She clicked accept and held the device up to her ear.

Before she could stutter out her greeting, she heard, "No, you're not."

A small smile graced her lips at the sound of his voice and the assurance in his words. "No?" She whispered.

"Not if you don't want to be," he replied just as softly.

It took everything she had to stop the ramble at the tip of her tongue telling him that she didn't want to be, that she missed him every single day, that she never felt so alone, that she never wanted to be apart again, that she couldn't live without him. But she knew it was way too soon for monumental declarations. Other than that though, she really didn't know what to say.

The silence was just starting to get uncomfortable when Sam broke it; he obviously wasn't used to her being speechless either. "Are you okay, Andy? Do you want me to... or Nash," he offered quickly, not wanting to push her. "Do you want someone to come over?"

Andy could feel her pulse in her throat. _Did she want that? Was she ready? She knew she wanted to see him, but was now the right time? Plus, he was working. _ "I'm okay and Nick's here so..."

Andy's words caught in her throat when she heard what sounded like a muffled growl come from the phone. _What could she have...?_

She listened as Sam cleared his throat. "That's good, um, good."

Andy felt like she should explain and this time she couldn't hold back the ramble. "He just wanted to have a good night, you know? He figured his place was probably filthy and there was food here and it was clean and he's taking a nap… o-on the couch of course..."

She heard a soft chuckle on the other end of the line and relief washed over her.

"Well, you can tell him that his place is clean too."

"Really?" She knew his parents had passed and that Gail was his only real tie to Toronto. But she had a hard time imagining Gail looking after his apartment once she realized he had left without a word.

"Yeah, Nash had to practically wrestle Peck for the combination to his locker, but she finally got it."

"Tell him he owes me!" Traci yelled from the background.

Sam huffed out a quick chuckle. "Anyway, his place should be decent too."

"That's good," she agreed, nodding to herself as her mind started working to find something else to say to keep him on the phone. "You're working with the D's today?" She wondered aloud.

"Yeah, uh, I..."

The reluctance in Sam's voice had Andy backtracking almost immediately. "It's fine Sam. I should probably let you go; I'm sure you're busy."

"No, it's okay; I just..."

"Don't worry about it," Andy interrupted with an exaggerated yawn. "I should get some sleep anyway; we've been up all night so..."

"Oh, yeah, sure," he conceded knowing all too well the exhaustion at the end of a UC and debrief. But he couldn't just let her go without reassuring himself that he would hear from her again soon. "Can we talk later?"

Andy took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "Yeah, I'd like that," she agreed.

She could hear the smile in his voice as he replied. "You get some sleep then and we'll..." he blew out a long breath. "Night, Andy."

Andy giggled softly. "Night, Sam."

After a few seconds of listening to him breathe on the other end of the line, she finally ended the call with another, almost silent "night, Sam."

She placed the phone on the night stand, burrowed under the covers and closed her eyes.

* * *

Andy woke up a few hours later and looked at her clock. It was almost six. She was still tired but figured it would probably be best if she got up now so that she could sleep again later. She walked out into the living room to find Nick just pushing himself up off the couch. "You making coffee," he mumbled obviously still half in the throes of sleep.

"I was thinking about it," she answered back.

"Good, I'm gonna," he gestured towards the bathroom and then made his way toward it running his hand over his face and through his hair.

Andy laughed. After living with him for six months, she was used to giving him some time to wake up before carrying on a conversation.

When Nick came out a few minutes later, he definitely looked more alert. He walked straight into the kitchen and gave her a half hug. "I love you Andy but that couch sucks."

Andy pushed him off of her playfully. "Hey, I told you it wasn't great, but you insisted."

"I know," he conceded wistfully.

"You want some good news?"

Nick narrowed his eyes and looked her over. "You do look happy," he noted accusingly.

"I had a good sleep and..."

"Nice, kick a man while he's down."

Andy chuckled. "That's not what I meant. I just feel better now that I... slept."

Nick eyed her warily. "And?"

"And, I may have talked to a couple of people," she added with feigned nonchalance.

"Anyone in particular?"

It went without saying that he knew who she meant; she was sure the blush in her cheeks had given her away. So instead of an answer she offered him the news she had alluded to earlier.

"Rumor has it your place has been cleaned too," she revealed giddily.

She saw surprise flash in his eyes but when hope started to take its place, she knew she had to cut in. "Traci says you owe her one."

Nick tried to hide the disappointment by turning and grabbing for a mug, but after six months he couldn't hide much from Andy. "You can still stay for a while if you want," she offered.

Nick slid around her and lifted the coffee pot from the machine. He poured them each a cup and then pulled open the fridge. He turned back towards Andy as he shut it again. "You need milk."

Andy scrunched up her nose partially at Nick's evasion but mostly at the thought of drinking her coffee black. "We could go get groceries?" She suggested pushing the cup aside.

Nick picked up his mug, blew on the hot liquid for a bit and then took a long sip. "Actually, I should probably head home; you know, try and get a decent night's sleep."

"You sure?"

"Weren't you the one trying to get rid of me earlier?"

Andy just dropped her chin and quirked her eyebrow. She hoped he knew better than that.

"I'm sure," Nick affirmed setting his cup down on the counter "An actual bed is sounding pretty good right about now."

Andy offered him a sheepish smile. "Sorry about the couch."

"No worries," he replied making his way to the door.

"Guess I'm on my own," Andy sighed pouring the unfinished coffees into the sink as Nick slipped on his shoes.

He was pulling the door open just as Andy emerged from the kitchen. "No, I don't think you are," he announced.

Andy's eyes darted away from Nick and focussed on the visitor in the doorway.

"You good?"


	3. Chapter 3

Did I say a three-part story? I meant four.

Well actually I **was** hoping to finish it in three but then I realized it had been two weeks since my last update, I was already over six thousand words and still had more to cover, so I figured you'd probably prefer quicker and an extra chapter over waiting longer. Hope I was right. And I hope the breaking point doesn't feel too forced.

Thanks to SairsJ for her review of this. I really appreciate the extra set of eyes to catch the mistakes that I miss after looking at it over and over and over.

* * *

"Guess I'm on my own," Andy sighed pouring the unfinished coffees into the sink as Nick slipped on his shoes.

He was pulling the door open just as Andy emerged from the kitchen. "No, I don't think you are," he announced.

Andy's eyes darted away from Nick and focussed on the visitor in the doorway.

"You good?"

* * *

Traci pushed her way past Nick with a disbelieving scowl. "I'm her best friend; of course, she's good." Her hands were full, but she shuffled the items around and stopped to give Andy a one-armed hug before proceeding into the kitchen. She slid a brown paper bag onto the counter and started pulling things out of it.

"And yet she chose **me** as her Break Up Buddy," Nick retorted.

Andy snorted out a half laugh. "Pretty sure you chose yourself there **Buddy**."

Traci looked up from her unpacking to give Nick the brow. "And I'm pretty sure those services are no longer needed so..."

Nick watched the blush color Andy's cheeks; she rolled her eyes but any mockery he saw was belied by the hope that accompanied it.

"Fine, I can take a hint," Nick moaned. "I know when I've worn out my welcome."

"Nick," Andy pouted.

"I'm kidding Andy. It's all good."

She felt bad; she knew he had already planned on leaving but she didn't want him to think he wasn't wanted. She looked over at Traci. "You brought Chinese."

Traci nodded with a smile and Andy angled back towards Nick. "You love Chinese."

"There's plenty," Traci offered drawing Andy's eye again.

"Oh, there's more than enough," Nick agreed quickly.

_How could he… _Both women turned to Nick.

_Oh. _Andy had another visitor in the doorway, with a paper bag of his own, Sam. And he was looking straight at Traci. "You, uh, never said that you were coming," he stuttered out.

"Neither did you," Traci chided with a quick twitch of her brow.

Andy's gaze flickered between the two of them, wondering when they started running their plans by each other.

"I, uh…"

Traci shook her head and grinned. She lifted her hand and beckoned him forward with a couple quick flicks of her fingers. "Come on. Lay it out here." She tapped the counter. "Let's see just how much we think alike."

Andy exchanged a look with Nick; whatever she was picking up on, he seemed to have noticed too. Andy furrowed her brow as she watched the two unload Sam's offering. _Why would they…_

Nick placed his hand on Andy's arm to break her out of her reverie. "I'll call you later or…"

Andy's eyes startled over to him but she shook herself out of her thoughts quickly. "You sure you don't want to stay?"

"Nope, time to face the real world… for both of us," he added under his breath, watching her closely to gauge her reaction. "Unless…"

Sam kept an eye the two of them with his peripheral vision as he unloaded the items from his bag. The last six months had obviously brought them closer, just how close, he wasn't sure. He waited anxiously to hear her answer. _Would she want Nick there? Need him there? _

"No, no, you go on," she assured Nick putting on a brave front knowing that he wanted to head home. _She could do this on her own; she had to. She had six months of time and space and now it was time to figure it out once and for all._ "At least take some food though," she offered.

Nick tilted his head as he contemplated. He took a deep breath. It did smell great and he was definitely tempted.

Traci grabbed one of the containers and dumped it out into a bowl. "Go on, Collins; you know you want to and there's no way we can eat it all."

Nick shrugged his shoulders before toeing off his shoes again. With a couple of strides, he was back in the kitchen and filling his bowl. After getting what he wanted, he secured the lid and lifted his hand in a quick salute to Traci and Sam. "Thanks."

The pair started to load up a couple of plates as Andy followed Nick to the door and held his dish while he got his shoes back on. He gave her a quick hug and whispered, "Call me."

Traci and Sam were trying to stay focused on the food but both had been stealing glances at the two at the door. Andy nodded. "I will. Let me know how it goes with you too."

"Andy, I don't know…"

"It doesn't have to be tonight," she assured him.

Nick nodded and kissed her on the cheek before making his way out. Andy shut the door and flipped on her heel to find two sets of wide eyes focused directly on her. Her face flushed, she offered them a sheepish smile and moved to join them. "Let's eat?"

Sam furrowed his brow; she seemed uncomfortable and he worried that he might be the one making her feel that way. "I can go if you two want to have a girls' night."

Andy's arm shot out immediately to grasp his. She huffed at herself, frustrated for appearing so needy. She let go of his wrist and took a deep breath. "Don't be silly," she responded trying to appear nonchalant. "You're already here. It'll be fun."

"Okay, then," Sam agreed lifting his plate. "You want to... uh sit at the table?"

"What? No, we can all fit on the couch; let's eat in there."

Sam nodded and moved to sit down on the sofa with Andy and Traci following after him. Sam sat at one end and when Traci sat at the other, Andy took the seat in between.

Both Traci and Sam knew Andy well enough to know that even while eating she had a hard time with silence so after a few minutes, when she didn't say anything, they both ventured a peek over at her. She was completely engrossed in devouring her food; Sam exchanged a look of amusement with Traci. "Settle down there, McNally. There's more than enough to go around."

"I'm sorry," she giggled at herself. "This is so good, though. Nick and I used to get take out from this Chinese place near our apartment..."

Andy stopped short; with her close proximity to Sam, she felt the flinch the second she used the word 'our'. "Near **the** **cover** apartment," she clarified as her body shifted unconsciously closer to him.

She rolled her eyes. "It was so bad, and this is so good," she moaned.

Sam visibly relaxed as both he and Traci smiled at her antics. They really did miss her.

"So what's new?" Andy wondered. Now that the silence had been broken her need to fill it took over.

Sam didn't know if he should just blurt it out or if this was something to ease into so he remained quiet as he debated in his head. Having worked with him the last few months, Traci could sense his dilemma and offered him a reprieve. "I have to tell you about Dov's new girlfriend, oh and Chris' tattoo."

Andy was concentrating on her plate while stealing glances at Sam; _he had said he was ready to try and yet he didn't offer up anything. He was obviously holding something back and even seemed to be anxious; maybe he wasn't as ready as he thought_. Andy sighed just as Traci's words registered. Her head immediately flipped over to her friend as her mouth dropped open. "Chris got a tattoo?"

"Well, not yet but he wants to get Christian's name inked on; he just needs to decide where."

Andy's eyes flashed wide. "I would have never guessed."

"I know, me either, but it's important to him and he's happy being a dad so."

As they ate, Traci filled Andy in on Chris' involvement with Christian and possible transfer to Timmins. She then moved on to Dov's complicated love life and how he slept with a girl named Chloe Price… and then found out she was the new rookie at Fifteen, oh yeah, **and** Frank's goddaughter.

Sam sat next to Andy as she listened about the handful that Price had become; it was definitely an understatement. He was glad that Nash didn't say much about the new TO Cruz, but he didn't miss the sideways glance that she gave him when she mentioned her in passing. He had been pretty certain she didn't know about Cruz's proposition, but now he wasn't so sure.

It had been under the guise of a bet, but Sam got the feeling that Cruz was angling for more so instead of accepting her offer for pizza, he handed over the funds he owed and quietly declined. She hadn't asked again but she had been fairly present around him at the barn. He thought no one had noticed, well no one else anyway.

A few weeks ago, he had been talking to Cruz in the hallway when Peck blew up at her. 'For heaven's sake, leave the poor man alone; can't you tell he's hung up on someone else.' She then turned her ire on Sam, 'who's not even around by the way and we have no idea when h... she's even coming back. Do you even know how she feels? How do you even know she wants you?' Sam had a feeling she wasn't really talking to him, but since they were the only three in the back hallway at the time he let her rant. Mostly because he understood her frustration, but he refused to believe it was over until he heard it directly from Andy. Now he just had to figure out how to bring it up. He wasn't going to do it with Nash there and he didn't want to be rude and ask her to leave. Besides Andy letting him in and insisting he stay must mean something. And it looked like that little bit would have to tide him over until tomorrow night; it was going to be a long day at work, but he felt pretty good based on her reactions so far.

He had just cleared his plate, when he heard Andy ask Traci about Gail; Sam moved to stand.

Andy's hand jumped out to stop him. "Where are you going?"

Sam grinned; she hadn't really been paying him a lot of attention while Traci was talking so it felt good to know that she was still aware of him. "Just putting my dishes away," he responded. Still he was kind of feeling like a third wheel. "I should probably head out though. I'm sure Nash has a lot more to tell you and..."

Traci realized that she had been monopolizing Andy. "No, I should go; I have to work tomorrow and Mom has Leo."

Sam shook his head; he knew she would have had to make those arrangements ahead of time. "You already have someone watching him; you should stay."

Traci knew he meant it but she didn't want him to miss out on time with Andy either; the sooner those two got back together the better as far as she was concerned. "I have to leave in about an hour," she hinted. "I want to tell him good night and get ready for tomorrow."

Andy regarded both of her guests; she really didn't want either one of them to leave, but she could only focus on one at a time. And there were things she needed to speak to each of them about. She wanted to ask Sam about, well, everything but she also wondered if that could be too much too soon. And there were things that she might be able to find out from Traci that might help her in approaching Sam.

Andy stared anxiously over at Sam, worried that he wouldn't want to wait that long or it would be too late for him to come back if he wanted to return after Traci left. "Do you have work tomorrow too?"

"Yeah, we… uh yeah I do."

"Oh." Andy was clearly disappointed.

They all looked at each other and the same thought seemed to occur to them all at the same time. _If Jerry was here, it would be the perfect double date._ He could talk with Sam when the girls got gossipy; they could all share work stories together. Then Traci and Jerry could head home and each couple could be alone. The void he left hung heavy in the air.

Traci finally voiced it wistfully. "I wish Jerry was here."

Andy could feel Sam stiffen beside her; she slid her hand down from his arm to his fingers and gave them a reassuring squeeze.

"We should have gone on double dates," Traci continued regretfully.

Sam swallowed hard. Even after so long, it still felt so fresh. He admired Traci for being able to vocalize it.

She smiled sadly. "We could gossip, you guys could talk sports, then we could eat supper and drink wine and talk about how much Oliver ate at work today..." She laughed a little through her tears. "Maybe even drag Swarek out to a romantic comedy," she added with a wink.

Sam let out a strangled chuckle unconsciously tightening his grip on Andy's hand.

"What about Jerry; there's no way Sam would have gone without him."

Sam nodded his agreement, his voice having deserted him.

Traci grinned at them both as she wiped a tear from her cheek and huffed out a short breath. "He'd be the one dragging all of us; he liked them more than I did," she admitted.

Sam shook his head; he shouldn't have been surprised.

"I miss him, a lot," she went on pensively.

Sam squeezed Andy's hand. When she looked up at him he offered her a gentle smile. As much as he wanted to talk with Andy, Traci needed her right now. She had been there for Traci when Jerry died and Traci had relied on her to get her back on her feet. She had been doing well, doing a great job, but it was obvious that she had been missing her confidante.

Sam cleared his throat. "I'm going to go; I could really use a shower."

Andy didn't want him to leave, wanted to offer to let him shower there, but she knew they weren't there yet. Sam could see that she was torn; he gave his shoulders a quick shrug. "I can come back," he offered.

Andy smiled softly in appreciation, but shook her head; she didn't want him to feel obligated. "You have to work. And it's fine; I mean I'm kind of tired too so…"

Sam looked at his watch. "It's only eight o'clock and Nash'll be gone by nine. That's really not that late." He nodded his head confident in his decision. "I'll come back."

He knew it was the right decision when he saw how her eyes lit up. "You will?"

He purposely ignored the knowing smirk on Traci's face. "Yeah, you're not get…" He blew out a quick breath. "I'll come back. I'm just going to go home for a bit, but yeah, I'll be back if that's okay."

"That's great," Andy agreed.

When Sam stood, Andy moved to join him but he assured her he could see himself out. Still she watched him the entire time as he put his shoes on and headed out the door. When she finally turned to look back at Traci, her friend was grinning from ear to ear. "Should I be worried about Swarek being overly tired tomorrow?" She teased. "You know how he gets after…" she waggled her eyebrows, "… a long night."

The color barely made it into Andy's cheeks when a different implication hit her. "Are you working together again tomorrow?"

"Uh, yeah, pretty sure we are, yup," she stuttered. She knew Andy wanted answers; she could see it on her face. But she knew Sam should be the one to tell her. "Did you like…"

"What's going on with you and Sam?" Andy interrupted.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Traci," Andy scolded.

Traci blew out a long breath. "Things are… different now. I've spent more time with him lately, worked with him a lot over the last few months."

Andy's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh."

"I'm sure he'll tell you all about it when he gets back," Traci assured her. "Now let me tell you about everyone else. He never talks about the good stuff any way."

Andy was reluctant to let it go, she wondered what it was they **do** talk about. But Traci seemed intent on changing the subject so she set it aside to ask Sam.

She stood up and carried their plates to the kitchen. As she put away the food and cleaned off the counter, Traci regaled Andy with all the goings on at Fifteen while she had been away: how she and Gail had spent quite a bit of time together though she couldn't get Gail to open up about Nick at all and it worried her. How much she wished Andy had been there for their Christmas gift exchange, how much Dov enjoyed his present from her (including a perfect impression of Dov imitating Sam that had them both in stitches), how much Leo missed her and of course Jerry, and how his school work had suffered a little but he was getting back on track.

Andy felt guilty about adding to the weight on Leo's shoulders, and Traci's too, and promised to make it up to them on his next day off.

She told Andy about delivering Claire's present and confessed that she may have been a little rude when her mother went on and on about how this task force was the best thing that ever happened to Andy. Andy then apologized for leaving without a word, but Traci assured her that it was okay and that Luke had actually offered her a position on it first. She understood how it all worked and didn't blame Andy; she just missed her. There were tears in both their eyes as Andy assured her that she missed her too.

"And I wasn't the only one," Traci added. "Swarek was a wreck those first few weeks, but a couple of things helped him turn it around." She held up her hand to stop the question on the tip of her friend's tongue. "Some **things** not some**one** and I'm sure he'll tell you about it, but one of them was your birthday present. That… I know he would have waited anyway but I think that just gave him the hope he needed to be a little more patient."

Andy's brow was wrinkled in thought. "How did he get it? I left it with Jerry," she rubbed a hand along her forehead, "wow, probably a year ago. To tell you the truth I forgot all about it."

Traci told Andy how she came across it when they were cleaning out Jerry's house and how she had originally thought it was from him. She told Andy she wasn't sure what she would have done if she had known it was from her, after all, she and Sam were broken up at the time.

"I think it was just meant to be," Andy shrugged thinking about the universe and how it always seemed to find a way to draw them together when they really needed it.

Andy looked down at her watch; it was already nine-ten. Traci watched her frown and checked over her shoulder at the clock on the stove. "You want me to wait until he gets here?"

Andy's head flipped up. "What? No, that's okay Leo needs you and you have to work."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," Andy confirmed with a reluctant smile. "I'm good."

She let Traci go with a hug and a promise to see her at the Penny in a day or two, where they would make plans for Leo's next day off.

Andy sat back down on the couch and waited. She looked around the room; they had put all the food away earlier so there was nothing to do but wait, well that and watch the clock. As the minutes ticked by, she started to wonder if Sam went home and fell asleep.

When the clock hit nine twenty and still no Sam, she couldn't just sit there anymore. She decided to shower and call it a night. She picked up her phone but there was nothing from Sam; she typed out a text to him and hit send_. 'Guessing you fell asleep or something.'_ At least that's what she hoped; it was better than the alternative and she really didn't want to go there. _'Going to jump in the shower and head to bed. Talk to you tomorrow?'_

* * *

Sam was in the grocery store checkout when his phone vibrated. He keyed in his PIN to pay and grabbed the bag and receipt before he pulled out his phone. The first thing that caught his eye was the time and he groaned inwardly. He knew the message would be from her.

He had gone home and had a shower just like he said he was going to. Since his house was only about ten minutes from hers, he still had a half hour to kill so he decided to run and grab some groceries for her, just some necessities – milk, eggs, orange juice, bread. He had just picked up his keys when Sarah called. He made the mistake of telling her he was going over to Andy's; at first she just wondered why so late but when Sam hummed and hawed a little she quickly figured out that Andy was back. It took him over ten minutes to get her off the phone and the only way he could do it was to promise to call her back the next day and tell her how it went.

He had checked his watch and still had time to make it to the store so he jumped in the truck and headed over, of course picking the wrong one. He had gone in and picked up the items in less than ten minutes, plenty of time. But as he went to check out a man collapsed in one of the aisles behind him. There was no way he could walk away. He instructed one of the staff to call 9-1-1 and proceeded to put his first aid training to use. Thankfully the ambulance got there quickly but he didn't realize how much time had passed until he saw it flash on the screen. _Damn it._

He stashed the bags in the passenger seat and read Andy's note as he opened the driver's door. He looked to the screen and back at the groceries; she was going to need them for the morning. He eased out to the parking lot exit and debated his options. It wasn't a long deliberation; she generally took about fifteen minutes to shower so if he headed there now he could catch her before she went to bed. He typed out a quick response and turned in the direction of Andy's condo.

* * *

Andy shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, wrapping both her hair and body in a towel. She felt better, physically anyway. She was refreshed but still disappointed that she wouldn't get to talk with Sam at least a little more tonight. Her body jumped at a noise coming from inside her apartment. She tiptoed into her room and threw on the tank and pajama pants she had placed on the bed earlier. There was no way she was going to get caught half naked. She picked up her phone ready to dial 9-1-1 when she heard him call out from the kitchen. "You want some ice cream?"

Her body immediately relaxed; she waltzed out of her room waving her phone at Sam. "I just about called the cops you know."

"You are a cop," he reminded with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes. "I thought someone had broken in."

He looked up from the bag and could see that even though she was trying to cover it up, she was honestly a little shaken. "Sorry," he offered sincerely. "I sent a text," he added in explanation.

Andy glanced at her phone. Sure enough, she had received a response while she was in the shower. _'Running late, sorry, will explain when I get there. If you don't answer, hope it's okay if I let myself in.'_

"You let yourself in," she murmured.

Sam couldn't tell from her voice if that was a good thing or bad thing. He could feel the weight of the keys in his pocket. Should he offer to give them back? Wait to see if she would ask for them? "That okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, that's fine." In fact, she thought it was a good sign that he felt comfortable enough to do it.

"You sure?"

Andy shook herself out of her reverie. "Of course, yeah." She smiled up at him finally meeting his eye. "I'm glad you came back."

Sam returned her grin sheepishly. "Sorry, I took so long. Sarah called and then…" he motioned towards the groceries.

"You didn't have to do that," she admonished thinking '_and why didn't you text me when you knew you were going to be late'._

"I figured you'd need them for the morning, but I didn't think it was going to take so long."

She remembered his text said there was a reason. "What happened?"

"Male, about 50 years old, collapsed in one of the aisles. I couldn't do much but try and keep him comfortable 'til the bus came though."

"Was he okay?"

"They figured he would be. Caroline took him in so he was in good hands."

Andy nodded.

"So, ice cream?" Sam lifted the last container out of the bag to wave at her, pistachio.

Andy wrinkled her nose.

"This is for me smart ass. Don't tell me you've eaten all of yours in half a day."

"Well, I did have to share with Nick," she retorted.

Another mention of Collins had a scowl threatening to make an appearance but Sam tamped it down in favor of a little sarcasm. "Wow, McNally, do I need to talk to him about the excessive use of force?"

It was taking everything she had to tamp down the grin. "Shut up."

She walked around the island and behind him, making a conscious effort not to look at the dimples that she knew were digging into his cheeks at her favorite come back. But it was like Sam knew exactly what she was trying to do because he followed her along, rotating his body so he could continue to face her as she moved. She was pretty sure she heard him chuckle under his breath too. But she was determined not to give him the upper hand.

She grabbed two bowls out of the cupboard and set them down on the island still averting her gaze. She shivered as she reached into the freezer to pull out her ice cream, but it had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with the breath she felt against her neck when she reached in front of him to put the dishes down. Pulling out her ice cream, she set it on the counter next to the bowls and she could have sworn that he leaned in to take a breath of her shampoo. Another shiver traveled down her spine as she stepped away.

If she would have dared a look at his face, she would have noticed that the dimples had faded, but even without them, anyone who had seen him over the last six months could have told her he was the happiest he had been in a long time.

She watched as he dished up the two bowls, studying his movements, admiring his strong arms, enjoying the simple gesture she had seen him perform so many times before. She jumped when he cleared his throat, her dish extended out in front of him.

"Thanks," she muttered, cheeks a deep crimson.

Taken aback by how his presence seemed to be affecting her, he had to clear his throat before he could answer back. "You're welcome," he rumbled out.

Andy lifted the spoon to her mouth and watched Sam place both containers of ice cream back in the freezer. She tried to hide her smirk behind the spoon_; she really shouldn't be so happy just because she had pistachio ice cream back in her freezer._

"You want to uh…" Sam used his bowl to motion towards the couch.

"Yeah," Andy breathed out.

She followed behind Sam and dropped onto one end of the sofa. She lifted one leg and slid her foot under the other so she could face him. Neither one said anything for a few seconds. Andy dipped her spoon into her bowl and peeked up at Sam from under her lashes. "So you're sister called?"

"Yeah, she's been checking in a little more often these days."

Andy studied him for a second; unsure if that was because of her or… "I'm sorry," she blurted.

"What?" Sam thought back to what he had just said_; he wasn't trying to make her feel bad and he really didn't want her thinking he was throwing out blame again_. "No, Andy, I didn't mean…"

Andy placed one hand on his. "Okay." She nodded. "I am sorry though. I'm sorry that I left without telling you. I'm sorry that you probably thought…" She swallowed hard. _How could he not have thought it was a 'no'? _"Were you mad? Are you mad?"

Sam shook his head. "I was never angry, Andy, just…" He blew out a long slow breath; she still had her hand on his and he turned it so he could hold hers. "… really disappointed."

Andy's face fell and she tried to pull her hand away. The idea of letting him down was always something that bothered her.

"No," he was quick to refute, tightening his grip, "not in you, mostly in myself. I was an idiot. I…" Sam gritted his teeth and flashed them once quick, trying to summon the will to do this. She deserved an explanation.

Andy watched his struggle and decided to help him ease into the heavier stuff. "So, you and Traci seem close."

Sam cleared his throat. "We've been spending a lot more time together."

Andy watched Sam's face for some clue as to what that meant. _They seemed to be hiding something significant about their relationship. She was certain neither one of them would cross that line but maybe in a moment of weakness someone needed… No! Maybe they just confided in each other. She could be happy for Traci to have someone but she couldn't help but feel jealous if Sam had been willing to share his thoughts with her friend and not her. _

Sam could see her mind working overtime and the look in her eyes told him that she was definitely headed down the wrong path; it wasn't a bad thing. "I made detective," he blurted out.

Andy's jaw dropped. "What?"

"I, uh, took the detective's exam. Nash and I are sort of partners. Well more often than not I guess."

Andy lifted her hand from his under the guise of moving her bowl to the table. She then returned it to her lap. "I didn't even know you wanted to," she whispered down to her hands.

"Hey," he beckoned. When she didn't respond, he put his own bowl down too. He placed the edge of his hand under her chin and lifted her eyes to meet his. "Hey, neither did I."

Andy's brow wrinkled in confusion.

Sam slowly moved his hand from her chin but only pulled it back completely when he was sure she wasn't going to look away.

"When you left, it was… hard." He chuckled without humor. "I think I was hung over more that week than I had been all year."

Andy's gaze drifted back down; she didn't like hearing how much pain she had caused him.

"Andy," he pleaded.

She looked back up at him and could see his eyes imploring her to stick with him. She nodded gently.

"Oliver suggested that I use my time a little more wisely. It was his idea to take Je… the spot that was open. I talked to Frank and he agreed to hold it for me while I took the courses."

Andy smiled tentatively. "Did you ever… I mean I thought it was always Guns and… but I suppose I blew that for you."

Sam was shaking his head. "You didn't blow anything, Andy. Undercover wasn't for me anymore anyway, and I guess I thought, well hoped…"

Andy looked at him expectantly. "Hoped?"

Sam rubbed the back of his head for a second. "I just thought it would be easier when you came back, if we…" He tilted his head and lifted his brow quickly in question.

_I can't be a cop and be with you _reverberated through Andy's head. If she read him right, he was trying to find a way around that, a way he could still do both. She really hoped that was possible. "I'm sure you're great at it."

Sam shrugged humbly. "I do want both Andy and I'm sorry I ever made you feel like I didn't, made you feel like my job meant more to me."

Andy pursed her lips. "Well, I seem to remember a time when I made a similar …"

"No, Andy," Sam interrupted shaking his head again, "that was a long time ago and you did that for both of us. We talked about it and I'm not about to keep score." He pulled one of her hands back into his lap. "But I do want you to know, well I want to try and tell you what I think I was thinking," he chuckled self-deprecatingly. _Man if he couldn't even explain what he was trying to do how was he going to actually say it?_

"What about keeping score?" She reminded him.

"I'm telling you this because you deserve to know, Andy. I don't think you can truly forgive me…" he held up a hand at her protest. "Okay I don't think **I** can forgive me until I tell you and we can agree to put it behind us together." His eyes met hers and held them. "Will you give me the chance to try and explain?"

"Sure." She answered without hesitation; it was all she ever wanted.

"Okay." He took a deep breath before he let go of her hand. He leaned over and picked up the soupy messes that were once their ice cream. He gathered the bowls and took them to the sink. He felt Andy's questioning eyes follow him but he just needed a moment so he rinsed out the bowls and loaded them into the dishwasher. He sat back down and turned to face her before reaching over to grasp her hand again. He didn't know which one of them he was trying to reassure, but when he felt Andy squeeze, he knew it was definitely working for him.

He raised his eyes to hers. "I think you know by now that things weren't great for Sarah and me growing up. I guess I just got used to putting on a front; I hated the way people looked at us when they found out just what we were going through." He looked deeply into Andy's eyes. "I, I will tell you all about it, everything," he promised, "just not now okay? And I don't want you to feel sorry for me."

"Okay," Andy agreed hesitantly.

"I've had other," Sam searched his mind for the right word. He never really had someone he would call a girlfriend. The word relationships would probably work but they were hardly serious so it really seemed to overstate their importance. He shook his head. "I've never let anyone get that close; it was just easier that way. Easier for me because I didn't have to talk about my past, didn't have to dredge it all up again and then see their reaction; that was always the worst part. Maybe it's a little arrogant of me, but I don't like the idea of people thinking I'm weak or flawed. I know I am but… I don't need to see it in someone else's eyes."

He could tell Andy wanted to say something. "Just, I have to keep going Andy. I… can I just…?"

She nodded.

"I tried to keep you at a distance; I did and I'm sorry. It's crazy when I think about it because I practically shunned you for not ignoring the rules and jumping headfirst into it with me and then what do I do when we finally start, I keep you at arm's length. Make sure you see only what I want you to see, jump out of bed first thing in the morning thinking that would make it any less serious. Like not staying for breakfast made it any less of a commitment." He shook his head at his naivety.

"Still we were doing okay. I was happy and I think you were too." He looked at her for confirmation and a tiny nod told him she was.

"But then Jerry died."

Andy stood up and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, but not before she squeezed his hand again in reassurance. Sam appreciated the gesture but when she stood up he still panicked a little. _Did she need the distance? He knew he had hurt her when he pushed her away._ Sam took a deep breath trying to relax as much as he could; _this was so much easier in theory._

When she returned, Andy passed the bottle off to Sam with a soft smile. He opened it up, took a long drink and then smiled his thanks. When he placed the liquid down on the table, Andy picked up his hand again. It was just what he needed; he cleared his throat. "When Jerry died, it took everything I had to just function. I couldn't… I didn't have anything left in me to fight what I was feeling for you too. You had already gotten closer to me than anyone ever had and how was I supposed to keep holding you back when all you would want to do was to get closer, help me, fix me?"

"I wasn't trying to fix you," she whispered, the hurt coloring her tone.

"I know."

"Do you?" She asked because it sure didn't feel like it to her. "I just wanted to be there for you. I didn't mean to suffocate you, Sam; I just hated seeing you like that. I wanted to help and I didn't know how; I just wanted to take some of your pain away. But, Sam, you wouldn't even let me ask or offer. How could you know what I wanted to do when you wouldn't even let me tell you? I know you know me and you know how much I like to fix things with the people we meet every day, but Sam all I wanted to do was be there, that's it, for whatever you needed. And if that meant not saying anything," she chuckled a little at herself, "well we both know that would have been tough for me, but I would have tried. And if that meant you needed some space…"

"I think it was pretty obvious that I wanted space, Andy."

"You made it perfectly clear, Sam but ignoring me and hoping I'll go away is not the same as asking for space unless…" Andy sucked in a ragged breath. "I would have just liked the courtesy of knowing whether or not you meant it to be permanent, which…" She tilted her head to the side and pressed her lips together into a sad smile. "God, Sam, I would have done anything if it would have helped you." She couldn't hold the tears back any longer and Sam was having a hard time keeping his own in check, but he was Sam Swarek and he didn't cry, hadn't cried since he was a kid.

Andy dropped his hand abruptly and moved to stand. Sam's eyes flew wide as she walked around the couch and started to pace behind it. "I can feel it in your body you know. You're holding back. You know I'm not going to think any less of you if you cry." She stopped up short and her eyes bore down on him. "Your best friend is gone Sam and I'm not trying to be harsh here but if you can't let go with me..." She blew out a long, slow breath as she raised her eyes to the ceiling. When she thought she had calmed down enough, she focused back on Sam. "I'm sorry if you think that I'm trying to fix you by asking you to talk to me or show me how you feel. But Sam if we can't talk to each other, can't help each other when things are at their worst, what do we even have? I want to trust you Sam but I'm not sure what you're looking for here. And if it's just…" She didn't even want to think it. "We both deserve more than that Sam. But to get there, for me to trust you again… you have to start by trusting me."

"I do…"

Andy was shaking her head. "Not just with your life Sam, with being your partner and having your back. You need to trust me to love all of you – the good, the bad, the sad, the angry. Can you even do that?"

Sam was starting to feel like he was being backed into a corner, which meant his first instinct was to come out swinging. "You haven't exactly been an open book either Andy."

She couldn't deny it; she liked to guard her secrets too. "No I haven't, not always," she agreed, "but I didn't just throw in the towel either. We did talk about my mother."

He dropped his chin. "You told me it was none of my business," he reminded her.

She leveled her gaze right back at him. "You mean the day you went behind my back to run a background check on her."

Sam had the decency to look abashed; he had not handled things well that day and he knew it.

"I was still hurt that day, Sam, but at least I didn't just walk away. If I remember correctly, I let you bring me home and we did get past it. We even watched my mom's DVD's together a few days later. And I told you about her and a few other things too," she recalled defensively. "But if you ever want to know something Sam you just have to ask me?"

"You need to ask me too?" He countered. He knew she was curious about his past, his family, but not once did she even attempt to ask him. The closest she came was wondering when she would meet them, but that was it. If he thought about it hard enough though, he probably would have realized that it was because she knew the response she would get. He hadn't been ready before.

Andy had to take another deep breath. She was trying not to get frustrated but she was having a hard time. "After…" she paused; she didn't need to say after what, they both knew what happened. "I did ask you if you wanted to talk about it. You said no and walked away."

"I **didn't** want to talk about it," he maintained. It may have been an answer, but it wasn't a good one and he knew it. Unfortunately, it was the best he could do.

"That's just not good enough anymore," Andy whispered. She pressed her lips together as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Not if this is going to work."

* * *

A.N. I was having trouble getting this chapter posted. I had to work in the break and then I just kept adding things in because it felt like something was missing. Then I realized what was missing was resolution and that wasn't going to come until they finished the talk. Should have known it wouldn't be all smooth sailing; they have to get past some hurt before they can move on. But I'm definitely going to need some fluff next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to SairsJ for her ever diligent eyes.

This one's a long one... please enjoy.

* * *

Andy had to take another deep breath. She was trying not to get frustrated but she was having a hard time. "After…" she paused; she didn't need to say after what, they both knew what happened. "I did ask you if you wanted to talk about it. You said no and walked away."

"I didn't want to talk about it," he maintained. It may have been an answer, but it wasn't a good one and he knew it. Unfortunately, it was the best he could do.

"That's just not good enough anymore," Andy whispered. She pressed her lips together as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Not if this is going to work."

Sam was up and around the couch in a flash. Standing before her, he took her face gently in his hands, his thumb softly wiping away her tear. Any trace of defensiveness was gone from his voice. "I know that Andy, and I want it to work, I do. I meant what I said in the note. I want to try, but you have to get that I'm not just going to be magically good at it. It's not going to be easy and it's definitely not going to be my first instinct."

Andy closed her eyes; she took a deep breath in and then blew it out before opening them back up again. Her head started to shake, mostly at herself. "You're right; I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"No, you have every right to be upset," Sam assured her, strengthening his grip to stop her movements. "I didn't… you deserved better. I was just so angry and I'm not sure I knew myself what it was going to take to get me out of it. I hope, I think I was trying to spare you from my anger because I knew I would blow up about it…"

"Because it was my fault," she mumbled backing away from his touch the guilt proving too much for her.

"What? No, Andy." He closed the space between them again; now that he had gotten his hands on her he was not letting her pull away.

Once more, she was shaking her head. "It's okay, Sam."

"No, it's not," he countered. He hated that he had ever made her think that she was to blame. _Yes, he chose to follow her that day, but her instincts, yeah they were wrong that time, but they should never have been in question. _ "No, it's not. I should have NEVER said that. I was mad at myself…"

"For following my stupid…"

_Boy, she just did not give up. _Sam placed one hand on each of her shoulders and bent his knees to catch her eye. She was trying to focus on the floor, but he wouldn't let her. When she finally met his gaze, he continued earnestly. "No, it was not stupid. McNally… Andy, it was not stupid alright."

"It wasn't right," she sighed.

"No, but **we're** not always right," he agreed, heavy on the 'we', "and the bartender was not a stupid choice. He had background, opportunity..."

Her shoulders slumped wearily. "But if we had gone to…"

"Yeah, if," Sam consented his voice growing stronger as he tried to bolster both of them. "And what if I had walked you up to your apartment? Hell, for that matter what if Peck had stayed with Collins instead of you? That bastard would probably still be out there. Or what if **we** had gone to see the cabbie?"

Andy tried to interrupt; that was her whole point exactly. If they had gone like Jerry asked, he would have never been hurt.

Sam continued before she had the chance. "What if Jerry had brought back up with him? Andy, we're not always right and we're never going to be . And sometimes it costs us, but if we second guess ourselves…" Sam paused to take what he hoped would be a calming breath. "We all made decisions that affected what happened. And I wish to hell he hadn't, but Jerry paid the price." Sam barely got the last bit out. This was the most he had talked about it since it happened and he was struggling. This time Andy took a step forward to place a comforting hand on his cheek.

It gave him the strength he needed to continue. "I wish we were right all the time; I do. But we can only do our best and it will eat us alive if we dwell on our mistakes. It took me a long time, Andy. I blamed…" he felt her hand tense and he was afraid she would pull away again, "…myself Andy, I blamed myself," he explained hurriedly, "for not walking you up, for not making sure Jerry took back-up."

"But if you blamed yourself, why…" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "You just walked away." Her hand started to drop, but he lifted his to hold it in place and leaned into her touch.

His eyes met hers and willed her to understand. "Experience told me that when you let someone get too close when they eventually leave you're left trying to figure out how to make it on your own. So I just always got out first; I needed to be in control. I couldn't get the picture of Nash out of my head. I saw what losing Jerry did to her and I couldn't bear that for either of us."

Andy tugged at her hand again and Sam loosened his grip. He allowed it to drop from his face, but kept hold of it as he pulled her back to the couch. "But, this time," he bent his head to meet her eyes, "this time when the hurt of losing Jerry finally faded a little, I realized that the hurt of losing you was still there." He huffed out a disbelieving chuckle. "So I tried to 'reinvent myself'."

Andy pursed her lips before allowing herself to sit back down. "It looked like you were doing a pretty good job."

"No, I wasn't," Sam disputed dropping down beside her so they were at eye level again. "I was fooling myself. I thought I had the power, the control. I was going to be a new man, someone who didn't miss you, one who didn't…" He watched her eyes widen; he was going to say it again soon but he didn't know if she was ready yet. "And I was always damn good at pretending." He gave a quick shrug. "I had years of experience."

"Fake it 'til you make it," Andy muttered under her breath.

But Sam heard her; in fact, he had heard her and Traci use the saying a few times. "Exactly, but then there was the shooting in booking and I had to know if you were okay. I couldn't pretend that I didn't need to know that you were safe…until you reminded me that it wasn't my job anymore," he added dejectedly before clearing his throat and continuing fervently. "And you were right; I gave up every right to know, but that didn't stop me from…" He shook his head, "so I tried again to be that new man hoping it would get easier the longer I tried. But then you had to put your hands around that damn bomb and I knew. I knew that I could try and fool myself all I wanted, but deep down… you were still in my heart, you were." He lifted his hand to touch her face again. "And I really didn't have any choice in the matter."

"I mean it Andy. When I saw you with that bomb," his thumb caressed her face, assuring him that she was still there, "I could have lost you completely. And I realized I couldn't imagine my life without you in it. And I didn't want to. Right then I knew that all my stupid reasons were gone and it didn't matter; I wanted to take the chance. And I knew I had to say it." He smiled softly at her as he rolled his eyes. "Again, stupid, like not saying it to you before had meant it wasn't real; that I wasn't in too deep already." He brought his free hand up to cradle her face and held her steady as he looked into her eyes. "Andy, I'm pretty sure I've loved you for a long time now. So I had to say it and it wasn't heat of the moment; it wasn't because I thought I was going to lose you. It was because I **had** lost you and I wanted you back. I never said it before you because I never felt it before you. I never said it to you because I was afraid of how true it really was." He watched a single tear fall from her eye and he felt it drop onto his hand. He swallowed hard but his gaze never wavered. "I love you Andy, I do."

He held her eyes as he began to lean in closer, his lips seeking out hers. He was almost there; he could feel her breath mingling with his. But then she dropped her eye and he froze.

"Sam, I…" she paused and he could feel the heat rush to her cheeks before she dared a quick glimpse up at him. "That was… you…" she giggled self-consciously, "that was good, you did really good."

Sam chuckled in understanding as he shifted his body away to give her some space. "You don't have to say it back, okay? I know I screwed up and I know your feelings might have changed."

Andy looked at him fearfully. She wanted to say it; she knew she felt it. But he still scared her. "Sam I…"

He shook his head. "I meant it when I said I wished I was more like you, you care about… everyone. And you do it so freely instead of always holding back and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everyone I cared about most in life I lost, and I couldn't bear to lose you." He could feel the moisture pricking at the back of his eyes. "But then I did. I just want that chance, Andy, to make it up to you, whatever it takes. Can you give me that chance?"

Andy's heart was warring with her head and he deserved to know that. "I want to and I can see that you're trying; we both need to try. But I need to know that you're not just going to walk away if it gets hard. I'm just not sure how to trust that."

Sam nodded. He got that; he did. But he hoped it was worth her taking a chance too. "Andy you're the most caring person I know, the most giving. I watched you forgive your father, you let your mother back into your life, and you seem to be putting the past behind you with Callaghan. I'm also pretty sure you would have forgiven me if I hadn't made that damn joke…" _God he hated his sarcastic mouth sometimes. _"Can we just disregard… please?"

"It's really not the same, not even with Luke," she doubted. She wrinkled her brow as she tried to figure out the best way to put it. "With him, it was more the humiliation than the hurt, but Sam…." She pulled in a shaky breath as her eyes drifted closed.

He reached out a tentative hand to place on the ones she held in her lap. "I know."

She stared down at their hands. "I can't go through that again, Sam; I can't."

He gave her hands a squeeze and when she didn't look up, he gave them a tug. Reluctantly her focus lifted and when she finally looked up at him he put everything he had into making sure she knew without a doubt. "Neither can I."

Andy sucked in a watery breath; he was making it so hard not to just jump into his arms and scream yes, but she needed to know one more thing. "You've always been there for me, even when we weren't together," she explained. "And all I wanted was to be there for you." She found his gaze again and held on for dear life. "Can you let me be there for you?"

"I'll try, Andy I promise," he pledged hopefully. "What do you want to know? Ask me anything."

"Oh my God, Sam…"

His whole body froze in fear.

"What time do you have to work tomorrow?"

Sam chuckled awkwardly. "Well, that wasn't really what I was expecting…"

"You need to go," she blurted.

Sam was totally lost; he was certain she was going to give them that chance. "What? I thought…"

She had been looking over his shoulder and when she finally focused back on him, she realized that he had misunderstood. "Sam, it's getting late and you have to work early tomorrow."

He let go of the breath he had been holding, relief flooding through him. "Oh." He looked down at his watch surprised to find that it was well past midnight. "Okay, well, I think it's time I started following through on my promises then. Can I make you dinner tomorrow night?"

"No," Andy shook her head. "I don't think that's necessary."

Sam stood almost dejectedly; he wasn't sure what else he could do. He really thought they had gotten somewhere. He steeled his resolve and lifted her to her feet abruptly; he couldn't just leave without knowing he left it all on the table. "I'm willing to do…"

"I don't want you do to everything," Andy interrupted knowing exactly where he was going with this. "I don't need you to do everything."

Sam nodded softly as he watched her hand drop from his.

"Hey," she nudged him with her shoulder and he looked back up at her. "We're in this together," she clarified, "or at least I want us to be."

Sam allowed himself a little bit of hope and waited on baited breath for her to continue.

"We make a good team right? Partners?"

He nodded eagerly.

"So it's not just on you to do it all," she explained with a grin and a quick shrug. "Besides I'm off. You shouldn't have to work all day and then come home and cook while I sit and do nothing."

_Home… that sounded really good. _"How many days do you have off?" He asked as seriously as he could; his new found optimism getting the better of him.

"Two weeks. Have to see the shrink, get cleared for duty again; I'm sure you know the routine," she explained, baffled by the smile that was growing on his face.

"Does that mean I can look forward to you cooking for me **every** day, you know since you're off and all," he teased.

Andy's chin dropped down as her eyebrow creeped up. "Are you telling me you have to work two weeks straight with no time off?"

Sam tucked his tongue into his cheek sheepishly. "Well, no."

"So you can cook for me then, or you could always take me out," she challenged. They had never really done anything like that, and Andy couldn't help but smile at the idea of a real date. She tried to tamp it down but the sparkle never left her eye. "But tomorrow I am cooking for you and maybe we can make a dent in that photo album."

"Oh, okay," Sam agreed but they could both sense his hesitance.

"Don't worry." She picked up his hand and let him towards the door before turning to face him. "I'll take it easy on you the first night," she promised.

Sam tugged her in closer. "I'm counting on it," he whispered, his voice that perfect mixture of rough and smooth.

The color flooded Andy's cheeks as her free hand jumped to his chest. "Sam," she cautioned. She knew he knew what she meant and as much as she missed the tease between them, she also didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep.

"What?" Sam murmured, his gaze bouncing between her lips and her eyes.

"You should get some sleep."

His glance stalled on her eyes. Sleep was the last thing on his mind but he knew he had to respect her need to protect herself, which got him thinking; he furrowed his brow. "Should I… do I… are people going to know you're back?"

"What difference does it make?" She wondered.

"Just wondering if I should I say anything, if people ask?"

"I hadn't really thought about it." And she hadn't; _Traci and Sam knew but was she ready to hear from everyone?_

"Peck will know Collins is back," Sam assumed. "Are you calling the others or…?"

"Oh No!" Andy stuttered backwards a little.

They were still locked in a partial embrace so Sam pulled her in close again. "What's the matter?"

"I didn't call my dad," she moaned regretfully.

Sam smiled, happy that it wasn't anything he'd done or said. "I'm pretty sure he was headed out of town for a couple of days."

Andy's eyes widened. "How did you…"

Sam shifted uncomfortably, letting go of her to rub his hand along the back of his neck. "Well, I took your Christmas present over to him."

Andy rolled her eyes as she remembered her poor choice of gifts for this year. "Guess I'll owe him one on that one."

"No, it's fine. I, uh, returned the hockey tickets and got him Raptors tickets instead," Sam explained.

"Really?" She was touched. "Thank you."

"It was no problem, Andy, really."

_Then why was he acting so sheepish? _"Are you sure?"

"Well, exchanging the tickets wasn't a problem, but…"

"Bu-ut?"

"Your dad wasn't really happy to see me," he clarified.

"Yeah?" Andy was confused. Her father had asked her why Sam didn't join them for supper a couple of times, but she made up some lame excuse. She knew he probably had his suspicions but she hadn't gone into detail at all.

"I couldn't blame him," Sam shrugged, "at first he thought…"

"Oh No." Andy's eyes grew wide as she realized what a visit from a cop could possibly mean.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "I never even thought when I first went over; I mean I wasn't even in my uniform. But after I explained that you were okay, or at least that I thought you were he tried to kick me out. I asked him if he'd heard from you; initially, I wasn't sure if he had or not, or if he just didn't want to tell me."

"Wait!" Andy interrupted. "I could have done that? Asked to contact him?"

"Not directly, but yeah," Sam affirmed, "you could have asked them to get a message to him just to let him know you were okay. I used to do that with Sarah; I'm all she has outside her family so…"

Andy started to feel guilty and mumbled, "I should have… I hope…"

Sam tugged on her hand which he had not let go of. "Andy, you didn't know; it's fine. Your dad was a cop; he knows how this works. He told me later he called your mother to ask if she'd heard from you; she told him that you had talked about the task force and he figured it out. I just confirmed it for him. And I promised him that if I heard anything that I would call him. I've checked in with him a couple of times and he's doing okay."

Andy offered him a small smile of gratitude. "I didn't really tell him much about, well, you know."

"Yeah, I figured that when he asked what happened."

"Did you… I mean what did you say?"

"I told him I was an idiot," Sam answered matter-of-factly, "but that I intended to correct that as soon as you got back."

"Oh yeah," Andy smirked. "And what did he say to that?"

"That… is a story for another time," Sam hedged, not ready to share just how secure Tommy was in his daughter's future with him.

"You know, I **can** just ask him," Andy warned.

Sam knew she was right, but decided to call her bluff, at least for now. "It's too late tonight, but you should call him tomorrow and everyone else."

"I'll call Dad tomorrow," she agreed, "or maybe I'll just surprise him, no you said he was gone. I guess I'll call his cell phone," she rambled on before focusing back on Sam. "For everyone else though, I think I want one more day… for just… me, you know?" She hoped Sam knew he was a big part of that. "Maybe we can meet at the Penny the day after tomorrow and I'll talk to them then," she suggested.

Sam was more than willing to go along with that, especially when she said '**we** can meet them at the Penny'. "You may want to clue Nash in on your plans though; you know just so she doesn't spill the beans."

"I'll text her."

"Good. So can I bring dessert tomorrow?" He offered the memory of cakes and fires coloring his tone.

"I'll take care of it," she assured him with a huff. "And don't worry you're going like it."

Sam tugged her in close once again. "Oh I'm counting on it," he confirmed with a wink.

"Well, okay then," Andy croaked, clearing her throat before turning Sam towards the door.

He slipped on his shoes. "So I uh, guess I'll see you tomorrow then." He really didn't want to go, but he knew he should. He didn't want to push her into anything even if he could feel her resolve slipping. She had offered supper though so tomorrow it would have to be. He hoped he could fall asleep but he had a feeling he'd either be replaying every word or trying to figure out what to say to her tomorrow.

He motioned towards the door. "Guess, I should…" He really wanted to kiss her, but didn't know yet if he should. They had come a long way and seemed to have agreed to be together, but they hadn't really set down any ground rules so he didn't know what was appropriate.

Andy saved him from his debate by wrapping her arms around him. He was never really a hugger but with Andy it felt right. She felt right; she fit. He pulled her in as close as he could and relished being in her arms. He smiled when he felt her relax into it.

After a few moments, probably longer than they both expected, Andy backed away. "I'll see you tomorrow. Call me when you know about what time… or you know if you get caught up and can't…"

"I'll be here," he vowed.

"Sam…"

"No, Andy. It's pretty much going to take Peck herself..."

She smiled warmly at him. "I get it, but I also know how this works so if…"

"Okay, you're right," Sam conceded, "but just so you know that I'm going to do everything I can to be here."

"I know." Andy leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "See you tomorrow."

"I'm glad you're back," Sam declared openly.

"Me too."

He reached for the door knob and pulled it open, but turned before he could walk out. "Were you ever scared?"

"What?"

"On Dakota, were you scared?"

Andy blew out a breath and tried to shrug it off. "I mean, Nick was there…"

Sam's heart momentarily dropped to his stomach but Andy was unaware of his disappointment as she was too busy watching her stocking foot scuff the floor. "But still, there were a lot of times where I just wanted to hear you say that you believed in me… so I could believe in myself."

She finally dared a glance at him and his eyes were wide in surprise. He quickly recovered. "I always do, Andy."

He watched her eyes cloud over and he knew exactly what she was thinking. "Don't okay? I do. Always have, always will."

"Okay," Andy accepted. "'l… if you want to know, I'll tell you what I can. We can talk about it tomorrow if you want," she offered.

"I want to know everything."

Andy couldn't help but feel reluctant. It wasn't all pretty and there were things she had to do that she…

"Everything you can tell me, even if I won't like it."

"Okay."

"Okay." Sam took a deep breath; he knew if he didn't just do it, he was not going to leave. He chuckled at himself, gave Andy a wink and then headed out.

* * *

Andy couldn't stop smiling as she cleaned up the glasses and then went to her room. It had gone well, not perfect but it was… a start.

After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she started to crawl into bed when a thought from earlier in the evening came rushing back. She jumped back up and ducked into her closet sliding the largest box out of the way before pulling at the smaller carton it had been hiding. From the looks of the outside, she really couldn't tell if it had been looked at or not. Lifting the tabs open, she slipped the wooden case out. The post-it note was still affixed to the top but came off easily in her hand. She read the words she had written so long ago. Oliver would definitely love it; she knew that without a doubt. But that's not who she had in mind when she ordered it. She remembered being giddy with excitement at the thought of Sam's reaction when she finally gave it to him. But then she also remembered the disappointment the night she realized that her efforts had been all for naught and that dimpled smile she had so easily imagined might never be directed at the gift or her again. She ran her hand over the smooth, metal plaque; she really thought she had taken it off. She had been holding out hope but as time passed the likelihood of him changing his mind had been slipping away.

She shook her head and slid everything back into place. Time would tell whether the plaque stayed on or off. Her last thought before climbing into bed though - Lucky for Oliver he would benefit from it either way.

Andy propped her pillows up behind her and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. She laughed; there were already at least three texts from Traci asking her how it went.

Andy's eyes rolled up in thought before they dropped back down to the phone. She tapped out a message. _'Good I think – talked some, still need to talk more but it's a start. Cooking him supper tomorrow night.'_

The reply was almost immediate. _'That's great.'_

'_Can you not tell anyone I'm back quite yet? Need a little time with just us. I'll stop by the Penny in a couple of days.'_

She had barely sent the request when she received a reply. _'No problem. See you in a couple of days. Happy for you… and him. Want me to call you and tell you how cheerful he is tomorrow?'_

Andy laughed out loud. _'Sure,'_ she typed back.

'_Nite Andy. Really glad you're back.'_

'_Me too, nite.'_

Andy then scrolled to Nick's number. _'Hope you had a good night. Call me tomorrow. Not sure if you've talked to her yet, but if you do can you ask her not to say anything. Just need a day or two.'_

Again, the reply was almost instant. _'Tried. Didn't have much luck. Not sure she'll take another call or look at a text but I'll ask her to keep it quiet.'_

Andy frowned; she had been worried about Gail's reaction. _'Should I do it?'_

'_Not sure. She's not really apt to do me a favor but not sure she's happy with you either.'_

'_What did **I** do?'_

'_She doesn't believe me about what happened when we were undercover.'_

Andy was confused. '_What happened?' _She wasn't sure if she was asking him what went on with Gail or what supposedly happened undercover that she was so upset about. Either way she was anxious for his reply.

'_I told her we had to play a couple but she didn't believe it was all for show.'_

'_It was.'_

'_I know that, but she thinks I left to get some space and figured – doesn't matter. Either she trusts me or not. Can't blame her for being upset but I thought she was going too.'_

'_You want me to call?'_ Andy thought she just might anyway. She knew what kind of damage a pissed off Peck was capable of.

'_No. I'll call you tomorrow and we'll figure it out. Get some sleep.'_

'_Nite.'_

'_Nite.'_

Andy plugged her phone in again to make sure it was fully charged for tomorrow and settle down into her bed. It really felt good to be home.

* * *

Andy woke up about ten in the morning. She'd had a great night's sleep, probably the best she'd had in a long time. She made herself some breakfast, reminding herself to thank Sam for bringing her the groceries last night. They definitely came in handy.

After she ate, she gave her dad a call on his cell phone. Sam hadn't said where he went but he must have been busy or out of range because he didn't answer. She left him a short message to let him know she was home and asked him to call her when he was back in town. She wanted to make plans to get together and enjoy some of their postponed Christmas traditions. If she was lucky, he'd make her one of his famous breakfasts.

After a quick shower, she wrote herself a list and walked to the grocery store. She found herself smiling as she made the rounds even more so when she got a text from Sam telling her how much he was looking forward to seeing her again tonight.

Andy's happy mood stayed with her for the entire trek home and continued even as she carried out the more mundane tasks for the evening. She was almost giddy as she cut up her vegetables, pre-made her mashed potatoes and got the roast ready to go in. She was really looking forward to showing Sam what she was capable of. She didn't cook often but when she set her mind to it, she really could do it, at least certain things anyway.

It wasn't long before she had everything ready to go. She looked around the kitchen and down at her clothes. After her walk and all of her preparations, she decided another cleanup was in order, for the kitchen and her. She could cook; there was no doubt about it but she just wasn't always overly tidy. She straightened up the kitchen, popped the roast in the oven and headed back to her bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later she emerged with a towel wrapped around her head and pulled out the fixings for her dessert, this time making a conscious effort to keep the mess to a minimum and clean as she went. She had made the base before her shower so all that was left was to whip up the filling.

She looked down at her watch when she was finished; it was about an hour before she expected Sam, just long enough to pop the dessert in the fridge and get herself ready. She hadn't yet decided about her makeup but decided she'd just have to figure that out as she dried her hair.

She had just started setting the table when her phone vibrated on the counter. She bit at her lower lip hoping it wasn't Sam saying he would be held up; he had texted earlier with a time but if something came up last minute... She held her breath as she picked up the phone but exhaled in relief when she saw it was from Traci. She had texted her earlier to tease her about how 'Swarek was smiling and freaking everyone out'.

Andy grinned thinking she was probably just going to be teasing her again but the smile dropped when she read the words: _ 'He's in a mood. Sorry.'_

_Crap! 'What happened?' _

The response was short but not so sweet: _ 'Gail Peck.'_

_Damn it! _Andy thought. _She probably should have texted Gail herself but she had forgotten all about it; she hadn't even talked to Nick today. Andy thought maybe she could have been upset that she didn't call her and tell her she was back; they were friends after all. But Gail and Nick, they were more than friends and Andy knew the first call needed to come from him. But if she was mad enough to get Sam's ire up…_ Andy dialed Traci's number.

She didn't even wait for Traci to say hi. "Can you talk?"

"Yeah, hang on."

She listened in as Traci shuffled around and then closed a door. "What happened?"

"Swarek came in and he was in a great mood right up until lunch." She could hear the smile in Traci's voice. "Andy, he's happy; I really hope…"

"Me too, Trace."

"Good because… I like seeing him like this."

"Like?" Andy was fishing but she really wanted to know if he was as glad as she was.

"I know he was happy before, well before… but today he looks like he won the lottery."

A giggle escaped from Andy's lips before she could contain it.

"We got called out to a scene this afternoon," Traci continued. "Gail was paired up with Oliver and they brought the suspect back in. When we all got back to the Barn, Oliver was teasing Sam about being just a little too happy. I'm guessing you asked Nick to tell her not to say anything because I could see it in her eyes, the defiance. I'm not sure why, but she looked completely pissed too and she… it was like the old frosty Gail was back. Anyway Oliver was goading Sam and Gail implied that maybe he had gotten a little something last night. She made it sound like Sam had found someone new and believe me; she was not quiet about it either. You obviously have a lot of people pulling for you two because everyone was on his case; people were not shy with the dirty looks. And Gail, she loved every minute of it. He tried to stare her down, but girl's got balls; I'll give her that. She just winked at him and told him to enjoy his date."

"Great," Andy moaned.

"Of course Shaw chose that moment to invite Sam to the Penny and he had to turn him down because well… he did have plans. Oliver was not impressed and Sam could do nothing but watch him walk away."

"He should have told him."

"He promised you he wouldn't," Traci reasoned.

"I know, but I had no idea…"

"It's done, Andy and they'll all know soon enough but…"

"But?"

"She may have implied something about you and Nick at the end there too."

"May have?"

"Did, she did imply it! She just kept going on and on.

_Traci's Flashback_

"_I'm just saying six months is a long time to, you know," Gail shrugged suggestively, "go without, so good for you Swarek. What's good for the goose is good for the gander."_

"_If you have something to say Peck, just say it," Sam challenged._

_She looked like she was going to blurt out the secret just for spite, but she wasn't done playing with him._

"_I'm just saying you deserve a little something. A lot of people wouldn't wait that long. I just hope you know what you're doing. Could be tough to get past this if __**someone**__ didn't wait?"_

"_You don't know what you're talking about."_

"_I do know," she asserted._

_Oliver's eyes were bouncing between the two of them and he opened his mouth to find out just how much she knew. But Sam pointed his finger at him and the question died on his lips._

_He glared back over at Gail. "You don't."  
_

"_I wouldn't be so sure," she sang._

"_Well I am."_

"_And how do you know that?" Gail taunted. "She tell you?"_

_Sam's fingers were balling up into fists; he just wanted to slam them into something before he let Peck have it. She was really pushing her luck and having fun doing it. But he made Andy a promise. "She didn't… doesn't have to tell me because whatever you think Collins is capable of, Andy wouldn't do that to me."_

_Gail scoffed but it got caught in her throat when Sam took two steps forward bringing him right into her personal space. "And she sure as hell wouldn't do that to you. I hope you know what __**you're**__ doing." _

_He turned and walked away while Oliver stared after him in wonder._

_End Flashback_

"Great."

"He'll be fine Andy; he went straight to our office after that. I tried to talk to her but I'm pretty sure she's pissed at the world. Nick for leaving, you for being with him…"

"Hey, I…"

"Andy I know that but I just don't think she believes it. And now she's pissed at me for knowing you guys were back too."

"But Nick talked to her last night," Andy reasoned.

"Not saying it makes sense."

"I'm not sure what to do with her," Andy complained.

"Don't worry about that; it'll work itself out. The important question is what are you going to **do** with Swarek?"

"Traci."

"Come on Andy."

"I told you; we're having supper."

"Dessert?"

"Yes, Traci there will be dessert," Andy confirmed, "but not what **you** have in mind."

"We'll see what's on your mind after you get Swarek alone for a few hours," Traci taunted.

Andy cleared her throat. "Gotta go."

"Yeah, yeah," Traci chuckled. "Details at the Penny tomorrow." She wasn't asking.

Andy couldn't help but laugh back. "Have a good night."

"You too," Traci singsonged.

* * *

Everything was ready and now all she needed was Sam. The vegetables and potatoes were staying warm in the oven, the gravy was simmering on the stove and she was just about to cut up the roast when she heard the knock.

She walked to the door and took a deep breath before opening it. She watched as Sam took a deep breath of his own.

"Seriously?"

She wrinkled her brow in confusion. "What?"

"I was sure it was one of your neighbors getting roast."

"Gee, thanks," Andy grumbled.

"You set a cake on fire," he muttered in his defense.

"Okay, so I'm not perfect," she conceded, ushering him through the door, "baking was never my thing. But there are some things I can cook and this happens to be one of them. I may not have had the most orthodox childhood, never baked cookies with my mom, but we did have a Sunday supper whenever we could. It took Dad and I awhile and there was a lot of," she chuckled softly at the memory, "trial and error but roast was one of our favorites."

Sam leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Mine too."

Andy grinned, even happier with her choice for the night. Sam held out a bottle of wine for her. "I told you, you didn't need to bring anything."

Sam shrugged a single shoulder. "I know… I just…"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. So what else did you and your dad perfect?" He wondered making his way toward the kitchen. "And why didn't you tell me before?"

Andy returned his grin. "I don't know; I mean we ate at the Penny a lot and you liked to cook. I did make supper a couple of times," she recalled.

"Not a roast."

"Well, I'm glad I finally got a chance," she avowed.

"Me too," Sam agreed, the look in his eyes telling her that his happiness had little to do with the possibility of roast.

They held each other's gaze for a few seconds before Sam cleared his throat. "So can I do anything to help?"

Andy shook herself out of her stupor. "Do you want to slice up the roast while I get the rest on the table?"

Sam glanced over at the table and then back at her; he tilted his head and lifted a brow. "Sitting at the table…fancy."

"Shut up," she grumbled good-naturedly angling him towards the roast on the counter. "I thought it would be nice."

"It is nice," Sam agreed, "and I'd love to do the roast for you."

Andy got everything to the table and Sam followed soon after with the plate of meat. They dished up their meals and Sam poured them each a glass of the wine he brought. He lifted his glass up clinking it against hers. They shared a smile and a wordless toast.

Andy waited to watch Sam dig in and was glad to see that he appeared to be enjoying it. He was right; she usually went for what was quick, but when she had the time she did appreciate a good home cooked meal. She was about to ask him what he thought when he beat her to the punch.

He pointed an accusing fork at her. "You've been holding out on me."

Andy giggled. "Most of the time we were running from work or hurrying to work so we didn't have a lot of time," she defended. He also spent a lot of his days off on his own, but she decided to keep the meals he missed to herself.

He must have seen something in her eyes though. "Guess that's what I get for being so… busy all the time."

Andy offered him a smile of understanding; they couldn't go back now and she didn't want to dwell.

When supper was done, they took their wine glasses to the living room. Sam was full and asked Andy if they could hold off on the dessert. "Of course," she agreed, but when he asked what they were having, she told him he would just have to wait and see.

They settled on the couch. "So, um…" Andy wasn't sure what they should talk about. They normally talked about their day and the cases but she had no idea what had even been going on at Fifteen.

Sam smiled and took her hand. "Ask."

"Tell me something. I don't know," she shrugged, "what happened while I was gone? How was the detective's exam?"

"Why? You gunning for my job?"

Andy blushed. "No. I just…"

"It was hard," he answered. "I don't know how Nash did it with a kid and a full time job to boot. It's been a long time since I was in school."

"You're glad though?" Andy wondered. She had an idea of why he might have done it and she was grateful. But if she was in fact part of the reason, she didn't want him to regret it later. "I mean you always said it was a lot of paperwork and not enough action."

"It's good. It is a lot of paperwork too, but I don't know; it's different than I thought, not bad just different. So far we've been pretty busy and Nash is a good partner. She keeps us up with the paperwork so we don't get too far behind. It's probably going to get interesting when we have one of our first court cases, but I think we'll be okay."

"You'll be great," Andy assured him. "Can't wait to see you in action," she added with a grin.

Sam's dimples dipped into his cheeks as he quirked an eyebrow in suggestion.

Andy slapped him playfully as a blush colored her cheeks. "You know what I mean."

Sam chuckled. "Not much to see really."

"I'll be the judge of that," Andy teased back.

Sam cleared his throat; they were wandering into dangerous territory.

Andy could feel it too so she ventured into something she thought would be a little safer. "Is Noelle back yet?"

"Not yet; she's still got a few months left in her maternity leave."

"Maybe I can go over and visit her while I'm off. I'd love to see Olivia again." She hadn't seen her since well before she left.

"She's really cute," Sam insisted.

"Sam Swarek, you got a soft spot for babies?" She taunted.

"Well, thanks to **someone**; I spent my New Year's Eve with this particular one." Sam's eyes started to twinkle. "Plus it's pretty hard to resist dimples like that."

_Don't I know it, _she thought. And he did too by the looks of the ones he was sporting right now.

Andy's head dipped down to try and mask the color invading her own cheeks. "Yeah, sorry about that," she apologized sheepishly.

Sam waved her off. "It's okay. It was nice of you to offer; they really did appreciate it. It was good to see them both relax; I stayed and had a drink with them when they got home too. Lucky for me, Olivia didn't even wake up until after they got home." He chuckled at the look on Noelle's face when she found out all he had done was watch TV. "Williams was pretty disappointed."

"And before? She wasn't worried about leaving you alone with Olivia?"

"Well I have been around kids before McNally; there were Sarah's and Oliver's. It's been a few years but it's not like things change."

Andy just stared at him; that didn't sound like Noelle.

Sam shook his head and smirked. "After Frank told her it was going to be me, I swear she wanted to call my sister for a reference. Oliver wouldn't tell me if he had to vouch for me too."

Andy chuckled, now that was more like it.

"She's a pretty good kid and at that age, they don't do a whole lot."

"Well they do a few unpleasant things."

Sam scrunched up his nose. "Yeah and next time you get to do the dirty work."

Andy dropped her chin in challenge. "I didn't realize I had volunteered for more than once."

"Oh… I…"

Andy winked at Sam and he knew he'd been had.

"I'll let Noelle know when I go to visit. I'm looking forward to seeing you in action."

"McNally," Sam grumbled in warning. "You better be careful what you wish for cause if you want action..."

She pushed at his arm. "Stop it. You know what I meant. Now tell me, did you sing her to sleep or play peek-a-boo."

She could have sworn she saw a little color in his cheeks.

Sam just shook his head. "So **tell** me… how was Dakota? You said you were scared."

The light dropped from her eyes and Sam was almost sorry that he had chosen this particular subject to get himself off the hook. But she didn't give him a chance to take it back.

"It was… really different. We had done a little UC before but it was nothing like this. All those other times, it was just a few hours at a time, but this one… man, some days it felt like it was 24/7. It was pretty exhausting and you couldn't even take good care of yourself."

Sam knew well what she was talking about. "You look like you lost a little weight."

"I did," she agreed, "but hopefully a few more suppers like this will take care of that. I really want to get back to the gym too."

"You still look great."

Andy was pretty sure she didn't but she appreciated the sentiment. "Thanks."

"So what was your role in it? Can you tell me?"

"It was a pretty big organized crime ring we were going after, but Nick and I had the least amount of experience so they didn't really throw us too far into the fire. Still, the closer we got to the bust the scarier it got; we started getting pulled further and further in."

"Did you…" Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "Did you and Collins stay together; were you a team."

Andy placed her hand on top of Sam's. "We were all in teams of two; they wanted everyone to have backup. It made sense for Nick and me to work together because we were familiar with each other already. We did play a couple and that was probably the hardest part. I mean, Nick is great but…"

"But?"

"I don't know; it's not really easy to fake that. We practiced a bit before they pulled us in. I'm sure it was tougher for other people who didn't really know each other going in."

"Practiced?" Sam thought back to their stint as Gabe and Edie and how easily it seemed to come to the two of them even before they were together.

Andy shrugged. "Just holding hands, walking together just trying to look comfortable you know?"

"I think so. I usually worked alone so I never really had to worry about it."

Andy started to fidget a little. Sam could feel her discomfort and gave her hand a squeeze. He had a feeling this might be the part he wasn't going to like.

She took a deep breath. "Just so you know I did have to kiss him some while we were on the job," she admitted nervously. "But right from the start we agreed that we weren't going to put on a show and go over the top," she added quickly.

Sam nodded; he didn't trust himself not to say the wrong thing. He was trying to be understanding but he didn't even like thinking about what kind of show they might need to make it believable.

"It's the last thing you probably want to hear and the last thing I want to talk about, but I want you to know that I've never thought of Nick that way, ever. When we would come back to the apartment, we still used our cover names but we slept separately and we never… and he never saw me..."

"Andy, I get it," Sam interrupted, the pictures becoming too vivid in his mind, "part of the job."

"Exactly," she agreed and then quickly changed the subject. "So, you're turn again. Is Oliver still staying with you or has he found someone new?"

"That's right; you left that night."

Andy's eyes narrowed in confusion. "That night?"

"The night you left, Becca had sort of asked him to meet her at the Penny but then..."

"Oh my God," Andy yelped. "He's with Nicholson? But I thought… I mean you were… and she was touching…"

Sam squeezed Andy's hand again. "Take a breath, McNally."

Andy shook her head as she tried to get her breathing back under control. "I just didn't realize she liked him."

Sam always thought Andy was cute when she got flustered but he had no idea why Oliver's love life would have that effect on her. "She **was** hanging around before you left."

"Yeah, you," Andy mumbled, "or at least that's what I thought."

"What?"

Andy huffed out a loud breath, embarrassed to admit what she had been thinking. "I thought she was hanging around you and… whatever it doesn't matter, so she and Oliver?"

Sam tried to tamp down the grin, but he couldn't resist teasing her a little. "Were you jealous?"

"Sa-am."

He would take that as a yes. "There was never anything there," he assured her.

"So is it serious?"

"Is what serious?"

"Shawcholson, Olibecca, Becciver?"

"What?" He chuckled out; completely baffled by the alien language she appeared to be speaking.

"Are Becca and Oliver serious?"

Sam's head jerked back in surprise. "Oliver's not with Becca."

Andy's mouth dropped open. "But you just said…"

"I said she asked him to meet her but then you turned all green before I could finish."

"Nice," she griped.

"I always thought you looked good in green," he goaded.

"Ha, you always thought I looked good in…" But she didn't finish.

_Anything. Nothing. _Either one worked for Sam and they both knew it.

He cleared his throat hoping it would clear the pictures from his mind as well. "That same night Zoe told him she wanted to give them another chance. So he asked me to tell Becca he wasn't coming."

"How'd she take it?"

"She was disappointed but I'm afraid I was a little too wrapped up in my own crap to be nice about it."

"I'm sorry."

"No going back," Sam insisted before launching right back into his story. "So, Oliver met Zoe that night and they've been working at it ever since. They've both had to do a little changing but he seems happy." Sam shrugged. "He doesn't make it out to the Penny quite as often, just a couple of nights a week and he usually leaves pretty early. I haven't really seen the two of them together other than when I babysat for them on Valentine's. Zoe seemed a little happier; she was glad to be going out anyway." He huffed out an irritated chuckle. "Pretty sure she had a longer list than Noelle though; guess she thinks I'm not a good role model."

"I sort of got the feeling that you weren't really her favorite. I thought those dimples worked on everyone," she goaded.

Sam scowled back at her but there was little bite to it. "So far it's a toss-up between her and Noelle as to who is most immune," he admitted. "They've never gotten me far with either one of them."

"Oh…is that what happened?"

"Huh?"

"How far did you **try** and get with them?"

Sam chuckled uncomfortably. "Hey, now."

"Come on Swarek, you can tell me. Did you try and work your charms on them?"

Sam shook his head. "Noelle, never. We've been friends for way too long and right from the start, back at the academy she was just one of the guys. I never really saw her that way. Zoe…" he hesitated just long enough to get Andy's mind racing.

"You hit on Oliver's wife," she squealed with glee.

"Hey, she wasn't his wife at the time okay?"

Andy couldn't stop giggling at the thought. "Spill it, Casanova. What happened?"

"I didn't really even hit on her," he insisted.

"Sure. Maybe I'll have to get Oliver to vouch for you too."

"You want to hear the story or not?"

"Please," she begged trying to get her grin in check.

"Stop looking so excited."

"Sorry."

Her eyes were still dancing though and Sam couldn't help but smile in surrender. "We all went out to celebrate. We had been doing some drills and hand to hand like on retrain dray," he explained. "We had all done well and decided to go out. There were five of us, me, Frank, Noelle, Jerry and Oliver and most of the tables just had chairs for four. Across the bar, I saw that there was a table with only three women at it so I went over to sweet talk them out of a seat. I barely even had a chance to say anything. I started with the dimples and an 'evening ladies' and they all just… turned on me."

"What? Why?" Andy couldn't believe it;_ if a guy like Sam had ever offered her and her friends an 'evening ladies', well let's just say it would have been a fight to the finish._

"Apparently Zoe's friend had just been dumped and she accused me of hitting on them and being insensitive and 'couldn't I see that she was upset'. I finally just walked away and went back to our table to stand. A little while later Oliver went to the bathroom and came back with the chair and apparently her number. He held it over my head for a long time."

"Didn't he ever set her straight, like when they were together for a while?"

"I think he might have tried, but by that time she already had her mind made up. Didn't help that I never really had a steady girlfriend," he confessed.

"Never?"

"Well, there were some that I saw for a while, but whenever there was any function or anything I always came solo whether I was involved or not. She figured I was…"

"A player?" Andy supplied.

"I guess. I mean, I hope I wasn't. I was honest with all of them; it was just never going to be serious. I guess she didn't like that."

"So she doesn't like you for that?"

"That and I'm pretty sure she thought that being single, I was a bad influence on Oliver, that I was the one inviting him out and keeping him from coming home. When I would come back from a UC, I would tell Oliver about it; she's made some comments that made me think that Oliver passed on some of what I said. I'm not sure, but I've wondered if it made her feel like she was holding him back or something. But Oliver's never been the UC guy, never wanted it. He was happy being a family guy. Maybe she felt like they started too early and he held her back and was just turning it around; I don't know."

"Look at you, Mr. Detective."

"Just a hunch."

"Listening to your gut?"

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "and right now it's saying it's ready for dessert."

"I'll be right back," Andy giggled. She turned back on her way to the kitchen. "Can you pour me some more wine?"

"Sure. Hey did you get a hold of your dad?"

"Actually yeah. I left him a message this morning and he got back to me while I was getting groceries. He's going to be home in a couple of days so he said he'd call me so I can go over," she explained while she dished up two plates.

Andy brought the dessert to the living room and set it in front of Sam. He looked back and forth between her and the plate a few times. "Is that?"

Andy dipped her chin and looked up at him from under her lashes. "Pistachio, yeah."

"Really?" He was touched and a little surprised. "Didn't think you liked pistachio, McNally."

"Not for ice cream," she emphasized, like it should be obvious. "But this dessert is really good. It's like pudding and whipped cream; what's not to like," she said as she licked off her finger.

Sam watched on completely dumbfounded. Pudding, whipped cream, Andy licking her finger, too many thoughts were running through his head. He grabbed his wine glass and took a large gulp. "You know you should give it a try; you might actually like it."

Andy glanced up at him completely oblivious to his dilemma. "Maybe I will."

Sam shook his head and dug in. He could feel Andy watching him. After the first bite, he never said anything trying his best to keep a straight face. He purposely took his time taking another, but then he couldn't hold back. He smiled up at her. "That is really good."

"I know," she agreed proudly, dragging her finger through her dessert and placing it in her mouth once again.

Sam picked the fork up from her plate and handed it to her; she had no idea what she was doing to him or maybe she did, he wasn't sure, but either way she was going to be the death of him. If she didn't stop with the finger, he couldn't be held responsible for what he might do. "Let's use the utensil shall we."

Andy giggled and plucked the fork from his hand before taking a large bite.

Sam tucked his tongue into his cheek and shook his head before taking another bite himself.

They talked for a while longer with Andy telling him more about Dakota. She tried to gloss over some of the more dangerous moments but she could tell by Sam's frown that he had an idea about what she was leaving out. Before they knew it, it was after eleven and Sam had to work again the next day.

"So I guess…" Andy looked over at Sam. "I mean you do have to work early again."

They hadn't gotten past holding hands and a kiss or two on the cheek and Sam for one was ready for more; he loved her and he wanted to be able to show her. He really didn't want to go. "You could ask me to stay."

"Sam, I just… Isn't that kind of fast?"

"I'm not expecting anything, Andy." As much as he wanted her, he would take whatever he could get. "I just, I would really like to stay."

She was torn. "You don't think we should take it slow?"

"Take what slow Andy? We've already said we both want to make this work. What do you want to slow down?"

Her eyes dropped down to her lap as words echoed in her head. _What's the rush? I love you, I do. I can't be a cop and be with you. I'll do everything. I'll be at the Penny. I meant it._

"No, listen," he beckoned, tugging on her hand and literally pulling her from her thoughts. "I know we skipped some things first go round; we just jumped right in. I asked you to be normal with me but nothing about us was normal. We had two years of history before we even started. I already felt like I knew you. We did all the date things for two years; we rode together, we ate lunch together, we knew each other. It just didn't make sense to do all the little get to know you stuff."

"But Sam, I **didn't** get to know anything about you, at least not the important stuff. I'm still not sure I do," she challenged. "I know your sister has a family and I know a little about what happened to her, but I don't really know anything about the rest of your family: your mom, your dad"

"That's true," he granted, "and I promise we'll get to that. I actually meant to tonight, but there was so much else to talk about. But we will, Andy, we will."

She wanted to believe him actually really wanted him to stay with her but she still worried that it was too soon, that it just shouldn't be that easy. "I don't know."

Sam wasn't giving up without a fight, not this time. "We didn't break up because we were going too fast," he contended.

"But Sam we did. I had a lot of time to think about this while I was away. You ran out almost every morning; I wanted you to stay. **I** didn't want that to be all we were. But **you** weren't ready."

"Andy, it wasn't because that's all we were; it was because that **wasn't** all we were. I was still trying to prove to myself that it wasn't serious; I couldn't admit that we were long past it being just about that. I wasn't ready to let you all the way in, but that had nothing to do with us physically. Andy, you can't tell me that was part of the problem."

"No, I can't," she agreed; things always fell into place when they were in bed. "But I still get scared. It wasn't enough for me then and it still isn't; I want more than that, Sam. And I worry that it will be too easy to fall back into it, to let that take over." And she knew it could happen because the want for him never seemed to go away.

"I'm not going to apologize for wanting you, Andy, but I will promise to do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn't happen."

"I'm not looking for an apology, Sam because I love the feeling I get when we're together." She shot Sam a quick glare to stop the glint in his eye from going any further; that wasn't the feeling she was talking about though that was really good too.

"You make me feel special, Sam and I love being with you, I do, but I want to be 'your person', the one you can't get out of your system, the one that knows all your stuff, that gets you."

"You are my person, Andy."

"I'm not sure I am, at least not yet, but I want to be if you'll let me."

"I will Andy; you'll see. I meant what I said. I love you and I just want a chance. If that's what it takes to show you, I'll do it. You'll see."

Sam began to lean across the couch, slowly closing the distance between them. "I'm going to kiss you now," he announced just before his lips met hers. "And I'll wait Andy, for whenever you're ready." He brushed his nose softly against hers. "I just want to be able to show you how much." _Starting now._

He lifted his hand to the side of her face and guided her lips to his once more. He kissed her so softly and gently, pouring everything he had into showing her just how special she was to him. And he was going to keep showing her for as long as she would let him.

Sam didn't know how long they had been kissing, but he knew he was getting to her. Her body was almost humming and he could feel her surrender herself to the feelings that had always been and would always be between them. The feelings that were taking him back, back to the day she first told him she loved him. That night was still so clear in his mind and his only hope was that he could show her even half of what he had been feeling back then.

After an indeterminate amount of time, he slowly extracted himself. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she answered breathlessly.

Sam dropped a chaste kiss on her temple and tensed his body to stand. He didn't get far as Andy's hand shot out to stop his ascent. "It's not that I don't want you to. But it shouldn't be this easy; should it? We broke up, and I left, and…" she huffed out a breath of frustration. "Shouldn't we have to work to get it back?"

Sam offered her an easy smile as his hand found its way to her cheek again. His eyes met hers. "It's easy because it's what we both want. Because it's right." He shook his head as he continued. "It doesn't matter what it should or shouldn't be. It matters what we want it to be." He'd made his point. "I know what I want Andy." But it had to be her choice. "What do you want?"

At the very least, she knew she wanted him with her. Andy pushed herself to her feet and then held out her hand to Sam. "Stay… just…"

He took her proffered hand and stood up to join her. "I know… whatever you want; I'm here."

Andy smiled softly as she led him back into her life. _  
_

* * *

A.N. I'm guessing you've noticed that I haven't marked this complete. As I got going the characters started taking me on tangents but I think it ended up to be a blessing in disguise. I was worried that the last part would feel rushed as I skipped over the timeline to important events. I'm thinking it will make a good epilogue of sorts; it should work perfect as small glimpses into their life as it leads them to the ending I planned all along.


	5. Epilogue

Well, this is it; the last of the presents. As I mentioned, we're just going to take a glimpse at a few key moments in their life over the next little bit. I'm sorry if you were hoping for more, but this was never meant to delve fully into Sam's past. The plan was always to stick with the theme of presents/presence and the little things they do and say to show each other they care and that they are in it for the long haul.

I got a little carried away with the first two glimpses, so I hope the rest doesn't feel too rushed.

Thanks to SairsJ for checking it over. Hope you like it.

* * *

When Andy woke up, she was alone. Still she felt both happy and content as she recalled hazy memories of a whispered goodbye, a tender kiss and a 'see you at the Penny'. Yeah, she was good.

She stood up, stretched and glanced at the clock. Her jaw dropped in surprise. She couldn't believe it; it was almost ten. If she thought she slept well her first night home, she was mistaken. That didn't even compare to how she felt after having Sam in her bed the whole night. She couldn't get over how just his mere presence could allow her to fully relax and let go.

She shuffled her way to the bathroom with a sleepy smile.

About ten minutes later, face washed and teeth brushed, she emerged from her bedroom to the welcome smell of coffee_. He had left it on._ She lifted the carafe from the stand to inspect it. She knew it had been on awhile, since his shift started hours ago, but it didn't look too strong so she poured herself a cup. As she blew on the warm liquid, she rested her back against the counter; her eye was drawn to a package that definitely was not on the counter yesterday.

Setting her cup down, she pushed herself up and reached over to pluck the bag off the island. Peering inside she found her favorite muffins from the shop on the corner. She smiled as she slid her hand in to get one. As soon as it was clear, she had the top pulled off and was taking a large bite. _Heavenly._

After eating more than she probably should have for breakfast, Andy put on some sweats and a tank top, and decided to do a little cleaning. Sam and Traci had kept it up pretty good, but there were a few things she had been meaning to do before she left so she decided now was as good a time as any to tackle them. What else was she going to do?

As she busied herself throughout the day, she exchanged a few texts with both Sam and Tracy, thanking him for the breakfast treat and arranging to see them both at the Penny after shift.

RBRBRBRB

Hours later, she picked her watch up off the night stand and checked the time as she fastened it to her wrist. Nick was due to pick her up any minute. They had also shared texts earlier in the day, deciding to make their grand entrance together.

They pulled into the parking lot at the Penny, but neither one seemed in too big of a hurry to get out.

Andy finally broke the silence. "Is Gail going to be here?"

Nick huffed out a quick breath. "I don't know." He shook his head. "I haven't really talked to her since the first night."

"Oh, yeah!" Andy smacked him across the chest. "A little heads up would have been nice."

He folded his arms protectively across his torso, turning away to shield his body from her attack. "Heads up about what?" He moaned.

Andy's brows shot up in accusation. "You were supposed to call me yesterday, maybe tell me how it went, maybe warn me."

"Warn…?" Nick jerked his body upright. "Did she come to see you?"

"No," Andy shook her head, "but apparently she gave Sam quite an earful."

Nick's head rolled back onto the seat. "No."

"She did," Andy confirmed, "made some pretty interesting accusations too."

"I'm sorry, Andy. I told her nothing happened; she didn't want to hear it. I didn't think she'd say anything to anyone else though."

"I believe you. But why didn't you call me yesterday? I could have been a little more prepared, maybe warned Sam, had Traci run interference."

"I'm sorry. After we talked, I crashed and I hate to say it but I pretty much just forgot. I got up the next day, house was clean like they said, but I still needed groceries. After that I went to the gym, tried to call Gail again but she was obviously screening her calls. I wasn't in a great mood after that so I decided to go for a run. When I got home, I showered, ate and fell asleep watching a movie," he explained sheepishly.

"How soon they forget."

"Andy…"

"I'm kidding. You had a lot on your mind; it's fine." She placed her hand on the latch. "You ready, partner?"

Nick nodded and they both hopped out of the vehicle and made their way to the door. Andy paused at the entrance; she looked back at Nick. "Here goes nothin'." She'd already talked to the two most important people so the rest should be easy…_ right?_

Nick had his hand on the small of Andy's back and they were both smiling as they pushed their way through. They spied Dov and Chris sitting at the regular rookie table and they took comfort in knowing that at least some things hadn't changed.

A quick glance at the bar confirmed that neither Sam nor Traci had made it yet. But Oliver was there.

"Well look what the cat dragged in." His voice echoed above the din and had everyone turning to see what the fuss was about. A huge cheer went up through the entire bar and before Andy knew it, she was being swept away from Nick and scooped up by Dov and Chris.

"I can't believe you're back," Chris greeted with a hug. "Did you come straight here?"

Andy was glad she didn't have a chance to respond before Dov pulled her away. "You're going to tell us all about it right? Was it hard? Were you scared? Who'd you take down? What'd you do?"

Andy chuckled. "How about we grab some drinks and tell you what we can?"

"Yes!" the two men chorused before motioning to Liam for another jug.

Nick and Andy spent the next hour regaling Dov and Chris with as much of their adventure as they could. The two men watched as the partners took turns explaining what they had been up to for the last six months. It was surprising to them to see how easily the pair interacted. Obviously they had to have grown close relying on each other like that but watching them seamlessly recall details in tandem was a little unnerving, especially when they didn't miss a beat, one easily picking up where the other left off.

Dov glanced over at Chris and the two exchanged a look. Yep, they both picked up on how well the relationship seemed to have flourished while their friends were undercover. Dov opened his mouth to clarify just how close they had become when Traci burst into the bar. "Where is she?"

Andy stood and turned towards her best friend with a smile.

"We need shots," Traci announced before engulfing Andy in a hug.

Dov jumped up from his seat. "On it."

"I still can't believe you're back," Traci blubbered, squeezing Andy tight. Before she released her, she whispered. "Best called him back but he'll be here soon."

Andy nodded.

The group chatted on together for a while, but soon the boys broke into a separate discussion leaving Andy and Traci to talk on their own. The boys were happily wrapped up in their own story until one particular question caught their attention.

"So, you two… I mean he was there right… what happened?"

Andy's eyes dipped down and her fingernail chipped at the finish on the table.

"Come on, Andy. Give me something here."

"It was only one night Trace…"

Traci stared at her friend, her chin dropping in challenge.

"Fine, two," she backtracked; knowing her friend was well aware of the time she spent with Sam the last couple of evenings. "But Sam… I don't know. It's going to take time. We have to be patient, be sure we can put it all behind us, talk it out, forgive each other… be sure it's what we both want."

Chris and Dov exchanged that look again. They turned their attention to Nick who was smiling fondly at Andy. He was really happy for her; it was nice to see her smile more and he knew how glad she was that things were going well with Sam. He put his hand on hers and smiled; she smiled back with an encouraging wink_. Gail would come around._

The boys flipped their focus between Andy and Nick. _She said they were together, and she was worried about Swarek… and forgiving each other. _

The door opened up again, pulling everyone's eyes to it. The blonde took two steps in before scowling at the table. She pivoted on her heel and walked straight back out. Nick sighed loudly. Andy squeezed his hand. "She'll come around," she assured him.

"I don't know, Andy. She just doesn't seem to get it. When I tried to explain it to her yesterday, she just…"

"I knew it!" Dov broke in with a smirk. _That's why Gail had been so pissed yesterday. They heard she had called out Swarek, but he shot her down._ _She knew; Nick had told her yesterday._

Dov was squirming in his seat. _Swarek was going to be pissed; he had waited for Andy all this time. And yesterday he swore Andy had waited too. _

Andy squinted over at Dov, her face a mask of confusion. "What are you…?"

Her question was stopped short when they heard the telltale sign of someone coming through the door, and again everyone looked over. It was Sam, his trademark dimples bookending an expectant grin. He quickly scanned the room until he found her, his smile growing as he made his way over to the bar.

"This is going to be something," Dov practically giggled.

Both Traci and Andy turned back with arched brows. "What are you talking about?"

"This," he responded, his hand flailing between Sam and Andy and Nick. "The drama; I can't believe we went six months without it."

The girls shook their heads and chuckled. He was easily amused; they figured he must have meant the gossip because they really didn't see the drama in the situation. But that was Dov. They decided to just let him have his fun while they finished up their chat.

Sam walked over to the counter and clapped Oliver on the back. "Hey buddy, how's it going?"

"You tell me, brother. That smile on your face all day, that wouldn't have something to do with the fact that a certain officer has returned; would it? You didn't look too surprised when you walked in; in fact, you looked like you might have been expecting her. Was there something you forgot to tell me today or maybe even yesterday when you and Peck had your little…" he waved his hand in the air, "to do?"

"Andy wasn't ready for everyone to know so…" he let the thought trail off trying to decide if it warranted an apology or not.

"Understandable," Oliver answered agreeably, "though apparently she was more than happy for **you** to know."

Sam poked his tongue into his cheek in an effort to stop the dimple from further taking hold but it was no use. "She, uh, texted Nash and I a couple days ago. We, uh, all had dinner together."

Oliver smirked at Sam. "Needed a chaperone did ya? Or was it a referee?"

Sam just shook his head. "You need another drink?"

Oliver held his hand up. "Nope, I'm good. Need to head home here pretty quick. Would've gone a while ago but I thought I was going to witness some big movie moment reunion."

Sam chuckled at his friend. "Sorry to disappoint you."

"There's still time, my friend. Don't you want to restore my faith in true love?"

"I thought that happened when Zoe let you move back in," Sam challenged.

"It was a good start," Oliver conceded, "but the true test will be if a guy like you can come back from that epic..."

"Hey now," Sam interjected, trying not to be offended by what he knew to be true.

Oliver snickered at his friend before he became serious. "Things are good?"

"We're good." Sam nodded and turned to Liam to order.

When the bartender set down both a drink and a full pitcher, Oliver grinned knowingly. "Told you I was only here for one."

Sam just rolled his eyes and picked up the jug. He was headed straight for the rookie table. "You know I didn't get a chance to hug her earlier," Oliver called out, "could you maybe pass that on for me."

Sam didn't turn around, just waved back with his free hand. Oliver could see the almost imperceptible shake of his head though and he chuckled to himself.

Dov and Chris saw Sam coming, their eyes widening in anticipation. The girls were too deep in conversation to notice, but Nick had looked up as well. They watched the two men exchange a nod, but neither one smiled. Sam reached between the two women to put the jug down on the table. His other hand rested on Andy's shoulder. She looked up and grinned.

"You looked like you needed another," he explained almost shyly.

He wasn't really a PDA guy so he didn't go any further, but he didn't remove his hand either.

"Thanks," Andy answered softly.

"Anytime," Sam responded, but he didn't move away; he looked like he wanted to say more.

Andy waited, more patiently than anyone expected. But she wasn't sure where this was going and they hadn't really discussed how they were going to act in public.

Sam cleared his throat and then threw his arm up to gesture behind him. "Oliver sends his regards too."

Andy turned in her seat to find Oliver tipping his glass towards her in toast. She lifted her drink in salute before looking back up at Sam. "Why didn't he just come over with you?"

"I don't know," Sam huffed, "he's Oliver. Who can figure him out?"

"Oh-kay."

"Sam-my," a lilted voice echoed across the room in challenge.

Andy's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Looks like he wants you back."

"Yeah," Sam agreed knowing full well that's not what Oliver wanted. "You, uh, can I take you home… after?"

Andy blushed and kicked a snickering Traci under the table. "Sure, I won't be long."

"Take your time," Sam assured her. "I'm ready whenever you are."

They held each other's gaze, neither one wanting to look away. A soft smile was lingering on each of their lips. It was an incredibly intimate moment that seemed to hold so much more meaning than just a ride home. It was only broken by a chair scraping across the floor behind them.

Andy blinked her eyes a few times before her cheeks flamed red; she had no idea how long they had been staring at one another. She dropped her eyes to the table and then back up at Sam. "Thanks," she whispered.

With a wink, Sam turned on his heel and walked back to Oliver.

"He's not going to be happy," Dov hissed as soon as Sam was out of earshot. In the background they could hear Oliver's raucous laughter.

Andy's head shot over to Dov. "What are you talking about?"

"It was only one night… whatever two?" He echoed from her earlier exchange with Traci.

"A-and?"

"And… I just think he's going to have a hard time forgiving you?"

Her eyes narrowed. "He already has, Dov, well mostly."

"What?"

"We spent the last two nights talking about it…"

"You told him about Collins and he was fine with it?" Dov practically screeched.

"Well of course he wasn't happy about it, but he understood; it was our job."

Dov's eyes were practically bugging out of his head. _How could she be so… and he be…_ "Pretty sure that's **not** part of the job."

Andy's eyes grew wide. "Wait, what are you talking about?"

"You and Collins and…" Dov let the thought trail off. There were at least three sets of raised eyebrows staring back at him and he had a sinking feeling… "What are **you** talking about it?"

Andy could only laugh. She picked up her drink and chugged down the remainder. She got up from her chair and hugged her friend. "I missed you, Dov."

She then flipped on her heel and made her way over to the bar, leaving a speechless Dov floundering behind her.

She walked up beside Sam and rested her arm on his back. Oliver had left and he was currently speaking with another detective. She stood behind him and waited as he finished his conversation. She was about to tell him she was fine to walk when he gulped down the rest of his drink and smiled up at her. "Ready?"

At her nod, Sam pushed up from his stool and wished the detective a good night. They were halfway to the door when Andy felt his hand take hold of hers. She smiled brightly and turned to face him. She reached out so she was holding Sam's hand between both of hers, backing her way through the door and pulling a grinning Sam with her.

Dov turned to his friends. "Did she say the last **two** nights?"

* * *

Andy's two weeks off went by surprisingly quick. At first she was worried that they would drag on, but thankfully there seemed to be more than enough to keep her busy.

She had to go through a couple of appointments with the department shrink, but they both went remarkably well. She found it more cathartic than she thought to share her feelings. It was actually Traci that convinced her to embrace the idea, claiming it would be good practice for letting Sam in and letting some of the bad stuff go. When Andy looked at it that way, it was easier to be a willing participant.

It was on the nights of those sessions where Sam learned the most about what Andy had gone through on the UC. He found himself thankful that Nick had been there for her and vowed to be a little more accepting of their friendship. He also woke the following mornings to find her nestled even tighter against him than usual. But if he'd pulled her in during the night or she'd burrowed in, he couldn't say.

RBRBRBRB

She spent one full day with her father, dragging a grumbling Sam out of bed a full two hours before his early shift just so that he could share their traditional Christmas breakfast. He of course complained the whole way there, but when it was time for him to leave for work, he wasn't ready to go. Watching Andy and her father and how far their relationship had come was worth the lack of sleep. The two of them together were a sight to be seen and he couldn't decide which of them had more fun. Tommy had even redecorated his house as if it wasn't the middle of spring but December 24th. Sam wasn't sure if he had ever seen Andy that happy, but he vowed to do whatever he could to keep that smile on her face.

When he finally pulled into the lot at the barn, he decided it was probably a good thing that he wasn't still out on the streets because after a breakfast like that it was going to take the whole day for him to even feel like moving. And he couldn't believe that Tommy had shoved extra food into his hands as he left. 'For lunch' the man had explained. Sam wasn't even sure he was going to want to eat supper that night, though he had been told in no uncertain terms that he was expected back for that too. He was still in his own little world when he reached the back entrance so he didn't even notice that Oliver had fallen into step beside him. Oliver though, did take note of the large container of food in Sam's hand. As Sam pulled on the door, Oliver snatched the fare out of his hand and darted through the opening. "Don't mind if I do," he rejoiced before heading straight to the lounge to find a fork.

"Enjoy," Sam replied with a wave.

When he made it back to Tommy's that night, they had a nice light supper, apparently another tradition in the McNally household after the morning feast. Once they cleaned off the table, Andy showed him the gift her father had picked out for her; it was a print for her condo. Tommy explained to Sam that the words written on it were an old Irish proverb.

_He who loses money, loses much;  
He who loses a friend, loses more;  
He who loses faith, loses all._

Sam read it over slowly. He could feel both sets of eyes on him but when he finished taking it all in, the best he could do was nod. Andy's hand rested gently on his back as the memories washed over both of him.

Tommy cleared his throat, more to break himself out of his own recollections. His lack of faith had almost cost him his daughter. Thankfully, he and Sam were both able to avoid that fate. "I trust you'll take care of that, Son," Tommy charged.

"It won't be a problem," Sam assured him, knowing the man was entrusting him with more than a picture for the wall.

RBRBRBRB

On Sam's first day off during the two weeks, he took Andy out to dinner and a movie. He wanted to spend the whole day with her but she started trying to kick him out of the house about noon, told him that she needed time to get ready. After a heated debate on how long a woman really needs to get ready, he talked her into going for groceries with him. Once they dropped them off at his place, he decided that some time at the range would be good, 'seeing as she had to re certify before her first shift'.

He was in the middle of suggesting a workout, 'since they were already at the barn', when Andy put her foot down. She insisted that on a 'normal' date the guy had to come and pick the girl up. Sam reluctantly dropped her off at home, and was still shaking his head when he got to his own. He flopped down on the couch and set the alarm on his phone. _She really was unbelievable_, but he wouldn't have it any other way. He smiled as he let his eyes drop for a quick nap.

About six hours later, the smile was still on his face as he watched Andy drift off for the night.

When he knew she was asleep, he walked out to her living room and put the TV on low. He was switching to a short stint on nights and thought it would be best to try and delay his own bedtime.

Over those next few days, he would crawl into bed with her early in the morning. He'd tuck her in close beside him and wait for the inevitable smile to grace her lips before falling asleep himself. A few hours later, Andy would wake to find him wrapped around her, the grin once again taking over her face as she disentangled herself from him as quietly as she could. Sam would wake later in the afternoon and they would have supper and watch TV or a movie before he had to head in again.

RBRBRBRB

On Sam's second day off, he was set to fulfill his promise to cook for her. It was a few days before she was due to go back to work and it was her who suggested they do it at his place. They hadn't spent a lot of time there since she had been back; he was playing it on her terms and she seemed content to always have him come over to hers. They both knew he was going to cook for her; he just figured it would be in her kitchen. When she insisted it would be easier if she came over, he was thrilled.

It had to be something really good; he wanted it to be special. She had surprised him with how well she could cook when she put her mind to it and he wanted to impress her. Unfortunately, she had already tasted a lot of his cooking.

The night before their dinner, Sam was sitting at his place trying to figure what in the world he could make. Andy was over at Traci's having a girls' night with no knowledge of Sam's dilemma. In fact it didn't even dawn on her that he might be nervous about what to cook.

She and Traci had enjoyed a nice supper and were then discussing the upcoming date. She had been keeping Traci apprised of their progress since she had been back. Traci was teasing her relentlessly about the two of them making out like a couple of teenagers and her not letting Swarek past second base. Andy's cheeks tinted pink as she recalled their time together the night before. As always, they got carried away with each other until Sam pulled back and looked into Andy's eyes. After a few seconds, he suggested they call it a night because work would be coming early in the morning for him.

Andy told Traci how great he had been about not pressuring her. And Traci could see that her friend appreciated it, but she also knew that Andy was more ready than she thought. Traci decided to give her something to mull over. "If you and Sam had just started dating, don't you think you would have let it happen by now?"

Traci then left Andy to her own devices while she grabbed the bottle of wine from the kitchen. It was at that moment Andy realized that she **was** ready. She knew Sam more than deserved the same chance and trust that she would have afforded someone she was just getting to know; in fact he deserved so much more. When Traci walked back in, she noticed an eager smirk on her friend's face.

She topped up each of their glasses and then held hers up in toast. "To putting the spring back in Swarek's… step."

RBRBRBRB

Sam had just finished with all the prep work when he heard the knock at his door. He wiped his hands off on the cloth and slung it over his shoulders as he made his way to the entry. As he opened the door, his eyes took in every inch of her, stalling when he realized that she had an overnight bag in her hand. His eyes shot up to hers.

The color deepened in her cheeks; she had already been blushing at Sam's appraisal of her but his reaction to the satchel, well… "I, uh, brought a bag; I hope that's okay. I mean; we never…"

"Of course it's okay," Sam chuckled as he tugged the item from her hand and ushered her into the house. She hadn't stayed at his place since she returned, but he had definitely been hoping she would, especially since he was off the following day too. He just wanted to leave it up to her.

"Have a seat," he instructed and motioned towards his bedroom. "I'll just…" He huffed out a breath before his head flipped around and his body followed and he was off down the hall.

Andy giggled; at least she wasn't the only one that was a little nervous.

"I don't smell anything," Andy noted as soon as Sam came back into the room.

"That's because I haven't started cooking it yet."

Andy's stomach decided that was the perfect time to growl and Sam chuckled. "Guess that's my cue." He placed one hand on the small of her back and the other gestured towards the kitchen.

When they reached the other room, her jaw dropped. There were all sorts of vegetables and a couple of different meats cut up and… She immediately spun on her heel to face Sam. … "Are you **making **us Chinese Food?"

Sam cleared his throat and rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. "Haven't done it in a while, but… I know you like it and…"

She threw her arms around him and squealed before kissing him on the cheek hard and fast. She then pushed him towards the stove. "Well what are you waiting for?"

Sam chuckled and shook his head, but he still allowed her to steer him back to the task at hand. But not before he instructed her to set herself up at the counter with a nice glass of wine.

Sitting in Sam's living room after the most amazing dinner, Andy decided she had never enjoyed a meal so much, the food, the company, the efforts he went to. She was… she couldn't think of one word to describe how she felt right then. She was happy, flattered, satisfied. If the smile on her face was any indication, Sam had definitely succeeded in impressing her. She had never felt more special.

Sam nudged Andy gently with his shoulder; she had been off in her own little world for a few seconds now and he was starting to feel a little uneasy. She was never quiet long and he hoped there wasn't anything wrong. "You okay?"

Although Andy had been smiling, when she turned to him, he could see that her eyes were a little glassy.

"Hey," Sam responded worriedly. "What's…"

Andy blinked back the moisture and gave Sam a timid smile as she shook her head. She leaned over and pressed her lips gently against his. "Thank you, Sam," she whispered, "this has been… thank you."

Sam smiled back modestly. "I'm glad you liked it."

"I **like** you," she murmured.

"Just like?" He prompted.

Andy placed her hand on Sam's cheek and guided him towards her. She held his eye as she leaned in closer and closer. When there was barely a breath between them, she paused. "Love," she sighed, "I **love** you."

He loved her too. He had said it before and he would say it again; he just wasn't sure if right now he could manage it. So he lifted his hand up to Andy's face and pulled her in the rest of the way, matching his lips to hers as he poured all of his feelings into the kiss.

When Sam finally pulled back, they were both breathless, their lips swollen and tender, Andy now cradled in his arms. He held her gaze for a few seconds and was elated by what he saw. Each time they had gotten carried away since she got back, he would search her eyes for a hint of what she might be feeling. And each time he would see a small trace of fear that would give him pause and help him find the strength to pull back. Tonight… the fear was gone and he… He could feel his heart start to race in his chest as hope swelled through him.

Andy was studying his face as his mind tried to process what he was seeing, what he was now feeling. And she knew he knew where she wanted this to go. She couldn't help the small giggle that escaped.

Sam's eyes drifted back into focus and straight into a scowl. "McNally."

"You know you're cute when you think you're going to get lucky," she teased.

Sam shook his head; his tongue was working overtime in his cheek trying to keep the dimples at bay. He'd actually been feeling pretty lucky for almost two weeks now. He huffed out a soft chuckle. "I love you."

"Show me," Andy pleaded breathlessly.

RBRBRBRB

Andy lay in bed next to Sam after another amazing night in a long list of truly remarkable ones. The last two weeks had been more than she ever expected. She knew things weren't perfect, but they were definitely well on their way. They had talked and forgiven and loved. They had even made a dent in the photo album he gave her and she was happy to say that they were past the heartache and tonight they had started in on the academy photos. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard.

Nevertheless, she had to admit, at least to herself, that she was a little worried. Even though Sam had been working, she wondered if they had been fooling themselves in this little bubble. Tomorrow they would be working together, maybe not directly but she couldn't help but think that their relationship was going to be tested. _Could he be a cop and be with her? How would they make it work? Was it going to work?_

"Andy," he mumbled.

"Hmm?"

His head was still buried in the pillow. His eyes stayed closed but she could see the side of his mouth tug up. "That's what makes it fun."

She should have known he could tell that she was scared. "Sa-am."

He slid her over till she was right up against him and then he tucked his body around hers draping his arm across her stomach. "We're ready. Trust me."

* * *

Sam and Andy rode in together on her first day back, with her fidgeting the entire drive over. He was starting to worry about the buttons on his stereo for the number of times she'd punched at them this morning trying to find the right song to start her first day back on the right foot.

As soon as they got out of the truck, Sam circled around the back and fell into step beside Andy instinctively reaching for her hand. That was something Andy definitely had gotten used to in the last little bit but they were at work and she flinched as soon as she felt his hand.

Sam's brow wrinkled in confusion. "What's the matter?"

"We're at work and I just don't want…"

"We're not at work unless you have that uniform on and I have my gun and badge, and I for one plan on taking advantage of every second." With that, he pulled her in close to him and put his arm around her. He kissed her temple. "Now stop worrying; it's going to be fine."

Andy giggled and let him have his way even if the doubts were still niggling in the back of her brain. He kept her tight against him right up until they got to the entrance and he only let go to get the door. Even then his hand simply moved to the small of her back. He was keeping it professional but still letting her know he was there.

"So I guess this is it."

Sam gave her the lopsided grin she loved so much. "See you in parade, **Officer** McNally," he imparted with a wink.

Andy shook her head and chuckled as she ducked into the locker room.

Throughout parade Andy felt as if someone was staring at her. She knew it wasn't Sam because she wasn't getting that warm fuzzy feeling that he gave her. It wasn't till she got up to leave that she noticed an officer at the back sitting next to Sam and Oliver. She assumed it was the new TO Traci had talked about. The woman was definitely in a mood about something. Andy just didn't know what it was.

When Oliver introduced them, she was gruff and blunt choosing to yell at Gail to meet her at the vehicle rather than stop and make small talk, tell Andy it was nice to meet her.

At Andy's questioning look, Oliver shrugged his shoulders and feigned ignorance while requesting Andy go make them coffee. The second Andy's back was turned he looked over to Sam. "Care to tell me why Cruz is in a snit?"

"How would I know?" Sam replied evasively.

"Oh I don't know; she seems to… like you. Thought maybe she might have shared her… feelings with you."

Sam pushed Oliver out the door. "McNally's waiting."

"Yeah, yeah," Oliver retorted. "I'm sure McNally and I can figure it out; we've got all shift to…"

"You've got all shift to make sure she has a good day."

"Or…"

"Or you can bet Zoe's going to hear about how Nich…"

"Enough said, Brother. I got your back."

Sam chuckled. "Keep her safe."

"You got it."

RBRBRBRB

Andy and Oliver pulled back into the lot at the end of the day. It hadn't really been a hard day, but it had been so long since she'd worked a full shift that she was exhausted. Unfortunately, she didn't think she'd get away with just going home.

Even though she and Sam had been at the Penny off and on while she was off, her friends still insisted that she had to be there tonight to celebrate being back. They didn't care that she'd technically already been back for a while; it was her first day in uniform and they weren't taking no for an answer.

She had just finished changing when Traci walked in, the new TO a few steps behind her.

"You ready, Andy?"

"Yep, are you and Sam done for the night?"

Andy's head snapped to the right where Cruz had been changing; she thought she'd heard... "Excuse me?"

"Hmm?" Cruz responded innocently.

"Did you say something?"

"Nope," she answered curtly.

"Oh-kay, well, maybe we'll see you at the Penny."

"I think I've had enough for one day," Marlo retorted before slamming her locker door shut and stalking out.

Andy looked back at Traci, confusion etched on her brow. "Did I… is she usually like this?"

"Umm." Traci wasn't sure what to say. Yes, Marlo was a bit of a hard ass but today, especially with Andy, she had taken it to a whole new level. She was abrasive and brusque and the looks Traci had seen her shooting at Andy during parade… "Maybe it was just a bad day," Traci suggested as they emerged from the room.

"You had a bad day?"

The girls looked up to see Sam push off the wall.

"Not Andy, uh, Cruz," Traci clarified with wide eyes and a grimace.

"I don't know," Andy disputed. "I saw her with Gail earlier and she didn't seem too bad." She started walking towards the exit as the other two fell into step behind her. "Plus I don't remember any big calls," Andy rationalized.

She continued along, lost in thought trying to recall the day while Sam and Traci were having a very animated conversation with just their eyes. Traci was clearly trying to convince Sam that he should fill Andy in on Marlo's motives.

Just as they got to the door, Andy flipped on her heel, stopping them both in their tracks; she was looking right at Sam. "Oliver says about the only person she likes around here is you; maybe you could…"

They walked out to the tune of Traci's unbridled laughter and Sam's muttered vows of revenge.

* * *

Andy had been back at work just over a couple of months and so far things had gone well. She and Sam had found a rhythm and things were good both at home and at work. She would run into Sam and Traci in the field periodically but the overlap in their jobs was fairly minimal. When the Ds needed extra help on a case, Andy just didn't volunteer, choosing not to push their luck. She was starting to relax and believe that with Sam as a detective they could really make this work.

Her comfort was tested though when a really big case fell across Traci and Sam's desk. At least three girls had been attacked, the two detectives had explained in parade that morning, filling everyone in on what little they knew and letting them know that they may be called on to check out some leads. The investigation had been going on for almost a month, well sort of. The attacks had taken place in different divisions and no one had connected them until the latest, early this morning, which fell in Fifteen's jurisdiction.

Since working together, the two detectives had already built up a pretty good reputation and since there was little to go on from the previous incidents, they had been tasked with going back over everything from each case to try and dig something up. The first two victims could remember little, their description of the perpetrator vague at best. And the latest victim was still unconscious in the hospital. The pressure was already coming down from the top and Sam and Traci were eager to continue to prove they were worth their salt.

Every officer was given a briefing paper. But Andy was on desk and so Traci also asked her to look through some files for her to see if she could help them come up with any inconsistencies in the testimonies or maybe a commonality between the victims. Andy hesitated for just a second but Traci caught it.

"What's wrong?"

Andy shook her head as she forced a smile. "Nothing, it's fine. Happy to help."

"Then why don't you look happy?"

"It's fine."

"Andy." She stared at her friend for a few seconds and it dawned on her, how she had never volunteered to help them, how he... "It's just files okay? You come up with anything just let us know; we'll take it from there."

Andy frowned for a second.

"Andy," Traci cautioned. "It's not… it'll be fine okay… we could really use the extra set of eyes. All this stuff came in from the other divisions, and we have to go back and see if there are any more victims we can link to this."

"I'll let you know if I find anything," Andy conceded.

It ended up being a slow day on the desk and Andy had a lot of time to go over the files Traci gave her. In fact, throughout the entire morning, Andy came in to gather more. Sam had been in and out meeting with the detectives from the other divisions, while Traci had been setting up interviews with the meager witnesses. It didn't go unnoticed by Traci that Sam seemed to have stepped out each and every time Andy decided to come in.

At about two o'clock in the afternoon, Traci glanced up to see Andy pacing beside her desk at the front. Traci kept her head down but watched curiously as her friend would take two steps from around the desk, look up at their office and then walk right back. She must have done it about five times and from her frantic movements she was obviously warring with herself about what she wanted to do. Traci watched her carefully. It wasn't necessarily the office she was looking at, it was Sam; he had not left his perch for a couple hours now.

Traci cleared her throat and Sam looked up. "Something on your mind, Nash?"

"It's almost two and, uh, did you want to take lunch or…"

Sam tossed his pen down onto the desk and appeared to mull it over. "Yeah, I could eat; were you offering to go get something or…" His eye wandered down to Andy, wondering if she had eaten anything yet.

Traci hunched up her shoulders sheepishly. "Actually, I was kind of hoping you would go grab something for us… bring it back," she revealed hopefully.

Sam quirked an eyebrow as he studied his partner. Something was off but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He continued to look at her skeptically before he finally relented. They had worked together long enough that he didn't even take her order; he just picked up his keys and sauntered out.

He wasn't gone five minutes before Andy appeared in her doorway. "Can I show you something?"

"Of course," Traci agreed waving her inside.

It took Andy about five minutes to tack everything up on the board. Before she even had it all up, Traci could see where she was going and she started jotting down notes on the white board beneath the various photos, reports and bagged evidence. By the time Andy was done, Traci knew they had a valid link. Andy didn't even have to write the implication down at the end but she did.

Traci was grinning at her. "Very nice, McNally."

Andy blushed around her smile. "Thanks, Trace."

"Swarek's going to be a very happy man, not that he isn't already," she added with a wink.

"Yeah." Andy looked around nervously. "I should probably get back. You let him know and see what he thinks. You know; if someone should take a look at this. I mean I'm sure there are other theories; have you heard anything from the other divisions?"

"Andy, this is good stuff, really? I'm sure Sam will go for it."

"That's good," Andy nodded. "But you guys decide; I just wanted you to see it."

"Thanks, Andy. Do you want…"

"What? No; it's fine. You just gotta bring them in right; ask him some questions. I'm on desk so…"

"Okay. We'll keep you posted."

"Thanks."

Not five minutes later, Sam walked back in with their lunch. "I hope you're hungry…" He stopped short, looked at the board, looked at Traci. "What's…"

He dropped the food on his desk and moved closer to the panel. He skimmed his way through the pictures and notes, things starting to fall into place as he made his way through the impromptu timeline Andy had set up. He didn't even read the conclusion at the end; he already had it pieced together.

"This is… great work." He shook his head. "I think we really got something here."

"We do," she agreed reluctantly.

"What's the matter?" Sam asked, picking up on her mood. "You don't think…"

"No, no, I do. I definitely do."

Sam turned back to the board to see if he was missing something. That's when he saw the words printed neatly at the end. But it wasn't in Nash's writing like the rest of it and he knew Andy had been looking at files that morning; he just didn't think they had gone back that far.

"How'd you come up with this?"

"Um, actually it's Andy's theory. She came up here while you were getting lunch, ran it by me. I thought we should pursue it."

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose while he contemplated what she had said. He didn't turn around. "That why you asked me to go get lunch? To get me out of here?"

"No, well not exactly; I just…" Traci blew out a long breath. "She's been up here a few times today and…"

Sam's head flipped over to her in surprise. "She has?" He had been hoping for her to come up all morning. He knew he'd been back and forth all day, but he figured she'd barely got to them because he hadn't seen her up there. Usually when she was on desk, she'd find any excuse to come up at least once or twice.

Traci nodded, knowing he'd catch on quick, and he did.

Sam stared Traci down. "She was waiting for me to leave; wasn't she?"

"I don't know," Traci shrugged, "maybe. I… it looked like she was going to come up, but she kept backing off and…"

Sam dropped his chin and folded his arms across his chest. "We're supposed to be partners Nash. We do this together; we have to trust each other."

"I know," she defended, "and it's obvious I was going to tell you."

Sam continued to stare at her for a few seconds. "McNally didn't want me to know it was her."

"She didn't want to put you in a bad spot."

The muscle jumped in his jaw as he gritted his teeth. "No, she didn't want me to say no." He was not happy; he thought they had been making strides but she…

"She didn't want you to have to make the decision, put you in the middle."

Sam rubbed at the back of his neck, tried to regain his composure. "She doesn't think I trust her judgment."

"Do you?"

Sam's eyes narrowed as they focused in on his partner again. "Of course I do. She's always had good instincts."

"Then…" Traci shook her head before turning it to her computer to start a search.

Sam's glare intensified, of course she and Andy talked. "Why what, Nash?"

"Nothing," Traci hedged, keeping her eyes trained on the screen.

"Nash."

She pushed her keyboard away and spun in her chair to face him. "It only takes one time to plant the seed of doubt. You told her," she paused still hating to talk about it all after almost a year. "You said you shouldn't have trusted a stupid rookie's instincts instead of your own. That you should have listened to..."

Sam hung his head. "I didn't mean it."

"You said it though and once it's out there, you can't take it back. Sorry is great but stuff like that, it still leaves scars."

"I…"

Traci let out a long breath and her voice softened. "Whether you meant it or not, she's just gun shy now. She tells you and you say no, it undermines her confidence; she thinks you don't trust her gut, wonders if she even should. She tells you and you say yes, she wonders if you're only saying yes because it's her and she doesn't want you to ever feel like she's taking advantage of that. She doesn't want to put herself between you and your job. She never did you know. Even way back when, when it looked like she picked the job over you, she didn't. She picked your job, over her happiness. We talked long and hard before she left for Temagami and it was never about saving just her job; it was about saving yours too. Sam she cares about what you think, probably more than anyone, even Frank. But she also never wants work to get in the way of what you have, and that makes this all that much harder."

Sam's chin dropped to his chest as he blew out a breath of his own. "I trust her, Nash. I do. I just… I wasn't in a good place after Jerry and I was looking for answers, reasons. I was trying to make sense out of a senseless act. I thought, I thought she believed me when I told her I didn't blame her."

"She did believe you." Traci stood up, placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, "does believe you. She knows you're sorry and she knows you didn't mean it. I think she's just scared; she doesn't ever want to put you in a position where trusting her could…"

Sam nodded curtly and walked over to his desk. He picked the extra sandwich out of the bag and headed for the door.

"Sam."

He turned back with authority. "Your sandwich is in the bag. Get that list printed out; start pulling backgrounds on everyone that comes up. We'll go through it when I get back."

"Sam."

"I just want to talk to her."

"Just… reasonable or not, it's how she feels," Traci reinforced. "Don't make her feel worse about that. Just let her know you get it. Give her a reason to let it go. And Sam…"

He waited.

"I think it will help if you tell her."

RBRBRBRB

Sam walked through the bullpen and pushed his way through the door to get to the front desk. "Hey."

She looked up from her computer. "Hey."

"I brought you lunch." He set the sandwich down in front of her.

"Thanks. How's it going?" She posed, going for nonchalant.

Sam tilted his head to the side. "Andy."

Her whole body tensed. "Sam, I…"

"Thanks for the…

"I was happy to," she piped in, "it helped pass the day."

Sam pressed his lips together. "Next time, just, you can tell me; I'll listen."

"I know; I just…" Andy's eyes dropped down to her hands.

"Andy."

Sam waited quietly until she finally dared to peer back up at him. "It's not always going to be easy but we can't avoid the tough stuff either; this is just another test. And I for one think we've been doing pretty good so far."

Andy nodded; she knew he was right. Avoiding the problems had only torn them apart before. And these last couple of months, they've shown they can work through a lot.

"You know, Traci wasn't the one who wanted you to look at the files."

Her head snapped up. "What?"

Sam offered her a self-conscious smile as he leaned against her desk. "It was my idea to have you look at the files."

"Really? But why didn't you…"

"I didn't want to pressure you," he explained with a shrug. "I noticed you never volunteer to help us. I just thought maybe this would be a good start, ease you into it with something small to start." He huffed out a disbelieving breath. "I really didn't expect to get anywhere today."

She saw the pride in his eyes, heard it in his voice and a smile tugged at her lips.

"I wanted you to see that we could do it." He tilted his head to the side and flashed her an easy grin. "You never know until you try right?"

Andy's cheeks flooded with color at the memory and Sam chuckled. He reached for her hand and held it, the most contact they'd had in uniform. "I just, I wanted to try. We have to go through some tough stuff so we can show each other that we can do it. I knew we were strong enough." His one shoulder gave a quick shrug. "And I miss working with you."

"But what if…"

Sam immediately started shaking his head. "No, we just have to trust in each other. And I **want** to know what you think, always. I never, ever should have said I what I said."

Andy placed her other hand over his. "Don't Sam. It's done."

"We just have to trust that we'll do better and we need to be willing to give each other the chance to do better."

Andy nodded. "Okay."

"Okay. Andy?"

"Hmmm?"

Sam smiled widely. "I'm proud of you, whatever happens with this."

Andy's returning smile stalled a little and Sam tilted his head in warning. "It's all going to work out," he insisted giving her hand a squeeze.

She smiled. She thought so too.

Sam cleared his throat and tugged her to a stand. "It's probably going to be a long night."

"That's fine; I'll get one of the guys to drop me off."

Sam nodded.

"Now come and eat some lunch and explain to me how you came up with all this."

Andy laughed and called for some relief before following him up to his office.

Between mouthfuls, she worked through the whole thing with him and Traci. And it only solidified that they were on the right track. Traci showed them both the list she came up with and they decided they needed to get some suspects in as soon as possible.

They sent out a couple calls and finished their lunch while they waited for them to be brought in.

At the end of the day, Andy went to pick up Leo and take him to her house for a sleepover since Traci's mom had long standing plans. She ended up taking Sam's truck home so she could get Leo and Traci was going to drop Sam off whenever they got finished.

Sam didn't walk in until the next morning just as Andy was getting ready to take Leo to school. "Your mom's waiting outside for you buddy."

Leo scooped up his backpack, offered Andy a wave and skipped out the door. Andy ran out behind him to make sure he got to Traci okay, waving at her friend from the entrance.

When she got back up to her condo, she found Sam drinking a glass of water. "She didn't need to do that."

Sam shrugged. "She wanted to see him."

Andy looked down at her watch. It looked like she now had a little time to kill.

Sam grinned, thinking the exact same thing. He nodded his head towards the bedroom. "Come tuck me in?"

* * *

It wasn't until the end of summer before Andy finally got to meet Sarah and her family in person.

Sam's sister had been harassing him for weeks now and he had finally run out of excuses. It was time to put his money where his mouth was. Just another test, he told himself.

Sarah had decided that they were hosting a back to school barbecue the weekend before the kids went back, and Sam was told in no uncertain terms that he and Andy were expected to attend. He wasn't sure how she found out they both had the Saturday off.

He could still remember when Sarah found out that Andy was back… and not just back to work.

_Flashback_

_He was working on the plumbing under Andy's bathroom sink when his cell phone rang._

"_Can you get that?"_

_Sam couldn't see her face but her eyes popped comically wide. "But that's Sarah's ring."_

"_So?"_

"_So?" Her arms were flailing. "So it's __**Sarah**__; I mean, does she even… don't you think…"_

"_Andy, hurry up; I don't want it to go to voice mail." He always tried to take his sister's calls when he could. Sure she was married and had a family, but he was still protective and he always worried that he wouldn't be there when she needed him._

"_I'll just pass it to you," Andy offered._

_He looked at his hands and they were filthy. "Andy."_

_She huffed but picked up the phone. "Hello?"_

"_Hi, uh, sorry. I must have the wrong number," came the stuttered reply. _

"_No, um, Sam's just… he's…"_

"_Andy?"_

"_Yes." Andy's eyes widened and Sarah didn't need to see her to know she was surprised, it was clear in her voice. "How did you know?"_

_Sam was using the wrench to tighten the last bit and he rolled his eyes. She helped with the album, McNally, he thought._

"_Well, I know who you are of course," Sarah replied, "I just, well Sam never mentioned that you were back."_

"_Oh, yeah, I've been home for a few months now," Andy revealed._

"_Oh really. So is my little brother close or…"_

"_He's right here; he's just been cleaning out my pipes."_

_A loud chuckle erupted from under the sink and another echoed through the phone receiver. Andy held the phone out as she kicked at Sam. "You were." _

_Sam slid out from the cabinet and gave her questioning brow waiting for her to realize how it sounded. _

_She narrowed her eyes at him. "You know what I meant."_

_Sam wiped his hands off on a rag before getting them on her face and pulling her in for a kiss. "We can test out those pipes of yours when I get off the phone," he offered._

_Andy dropped her chin. "I'm pretty sure I can take care of it mys…"_

_Sam's loud bark of laughter cut her off again and her face flooded with red before she shoved him unceremoniously out the door. _

"_Hey, Sarah," he greeted the laughter still in his voice._

"_Hey little brother. Didn't mean to interrupt."_

"_It's all good," Sam assured her. "What's up?"_

"_I should be asking you that. You didn't think I might want to know that Andy was back or more importantly that she's back __**with you**__ and that she's letting you take care of… her plumbing."_

_The noise that came from Sam was a half cough, half chuckle and Sarah was laughing hysterically at the other end. She hardly ever got the upper hand with her brother and she liked it._

"_Did you have a reason for calling," Sam growled, "or…"_

_It took Sarah a few seconds, but she finally caught her breath. "No, I just wanted to see how it was going. I was just starting to get used to talking to you on a semi regular basis and I hadn't heard from you in a while. Now, I can see why."_

"_Yeah." Sam cleared his throat, ran his hand through his hair. "Uh, things are good, really good Sare."_

"_Good," she agreed, "So when can I expect you two to visit?"_

_Sam quickly ushered her off the phone with what he knew she knew was an excuse, but he didn't care. He wasn't quite ready to make that decision just yet._

_End Flashback_

They were due to leave for St. Catherines in the morning. Andy had been excited for the last week but today was different. She seemed just as fidgety but not in a good way; Sam knew something was wrong. He thought he would come home to find Andy making her salad but instead she was watching **the DVD's**.

"Andy?"

She looked up from the TV, her eyes a little glassy. "She's moving."

"What?"

"She's moving," Andy repeated.

"Who?" Sam inquired, though he was pretty sure he knew.

Andy picked up the remote and pointed it at the machine and pressed pause. She blew out a long breath. "My mother, she stopped by today to let me know. Apparently 'Andrea' needs her out west, messy divorce or something like that." She looked over at Sam again. "She told me I should come out and visit some time and that…" She rolled her eyes to the ceiling and shook her head.

Sam dropped his bag at the door and came over to sit beside her. "That?"

Andy swallowed hard. "That if I decide to be that girl and that cowboy of mine sticks around long enough to get over his commitment issues…" She huffed out a loud breath. "Apparently she figures she deserves an invitation."

"Oh she does, does she?" Sam growled.

Andy pursed her lips. "I'm sorry."

"No, there's nothing for you to be sorry about. She's the one that should…" Sam shook his head. "I don't care if I'm not her favorite person, never did. But she…" He took one of Andy's hands in his. "Are you okay?"

"Hey, I managed for fifteen years on my own," Andy retorted, trying to lighten things up but falling more than a little short.

Sam squeezed her hand. "You're not on your own; you've got your Dad and you've got me."

"I know; it's just…"

"No." Sam tugged her in closer and kissed her temple. "You've got all the family you need, and you're about to gain more." Sam pulled her to her feet. "So let's get that salad made so you can impress them all with your culinary skills." He didn't want her wallowing; it was Claire's loss and Andy should **not** be feeling bad about it.

Andy still wasn't saying much when they started in on the salad. She was quietly slicing up the ingredients, but it was the intermittent sniffles that were doing him in.

"Shit!"

Andy practically jumped at Sam's outburst. "What?"

He held up the tomato he had been working on and it was a disaster. The seeds and pulp were dripping down his wrist and the vegetable was mangled in his hand. "Do you know how I can fix a broken tomato?"

Andy was shaking her head. "I don't think…"

"I know," he interjected, "Tomato Paste!"

Andy rewarded Sam with a watery smile, plucking the tomato from his hand and grabbing a tea towel to help him clean up the mess he made of himself, all for her. "Thanks," she whispered as she wiped gently along his arm.

"For what."

She lifted her face and pressed her lips tenderly against his. "For reminding me I'm not alone."

"Never gonna happen."

She dropped the sticky mess into the sink. "We make quite a pair," she lamented.

"That we do," he rejoiced.

RBRBRBRB

The picnic was amazing. They had left early in the morning and got there just before noon.

Sarah greeted Andy with a huge hug. It caught her off guard at first but then she gripped back just as hard so happy to get to know more about Sam and where he came from. Andy smiled as she then watched Sarah hug Sam; she could see his discomfort until he finally just smiled and went with it.

Sarah immediately ushered Andy into the house with a promise that she hadn't sent the really good, blackmail worthy, pictures for the photo album, and she couldn't wait to show her. Sam just shook his head and followed along behind the two most important women in his life.

Lunch was a light but lively affair with Andy being the perfect guest. Everyone wanted to get to know her and Sam was happy to see that she was enjoying herself especially after yesterday. Her smile and laughter was all he needed to relax.

Part way through the afternoon, Sarah was grumbling good naturedly to Sam. She was not happy that she had to fight for Andy's attention.

Andy had revealed over lunch that she had done some skateboarding of her own when she was younger and Conner was surprised when she could hold her own with his. When she returned it after a couple of tricks, he took pride in showing her all of his latest stunts. Sam was pretty sure his nephew was smitten with his beautiful girlfriend. He looked pretty disappointed when Max lured her away with a promise to teach her how to play his favorite video game.

She pretty much sucked at the game but Max' smile grew with every giggle that burst out when her character perished yet again.

She was basically torn in three different directions for most of the afternoon, managing to sneak in a couple of board games with Emma as well. She finally got a chance to sit down with Sarah about an hour before supper.

Sam and Dan were at the barbecue getting ready to start in on the meat. Sarah had prepared her salads and dessert the day before so the second Andy tore herself away from the kids, with a promise that they would play again after supper, Sarah was up and off to get the albums she had talked about earlier. She was soon regaling a tickled Andy with story after story about a young Sam Swarek. And Sam couldn't even be upset with her, not with the way Andy was beaming.

They weren't able to stay overnight but not for lack of trying on Sarah's part, or the rest of her family. Unfortunately, both Sam and Andy had to work the next day. The kids were disappointed but when Andy suggested she might have time for a quick game of soccer, they looked over to Sam anxiously. At his nod, they all ran cheering into the yard, including Andy.

Sam and Sarah grinned as they watched the game progress from the deck, both praising when either team scored. "She's a miracle worker, Sammy. I swear those three never get along this well." She looked sideways at her brother. "And any woman that can get a smile like that out of you..."

Sam pushed his shoulder into hers. "Hey, you make it sound like I've never been happy."

"I'm not sure you have," she shrugged, "at least not like this."

He couldn't disagree.

* * *

The weather had definitely changed, but Sam no longer loved the autumn, too many memories.

The atmosphere in the barn had changed too; it had taken on a decidedly somber tone. The day was coming and there was nothing they could do to stop it. It was hard for anyone to believe that it had been a whole year.

Traci had been on a couple of innocent dates but that was it; something just never felt right about it. The last guy she had seen had been really great though and Andy was hopeful that he'd give her some time and maybe try again. Just, not now.

The closer the day got, the more anxious Andy became. She had no idea how Sam was going to handle things. They had worked through a lot of tough stuff, but this was by far the biggest obstacle they had ever faced and the one thing that truly came between them. She wanted to give Sam time and space, but she also couldn't help but hope that he wouldn't take her up on it. That everything they had been working at might allow him to let her in if only just a little. She didn't care if he didn't talk to her all day, she just wanted to be allowed to be there. And if not that day, if he needed that day on his own, she would be okay as long as he came back… soon.

She had wanted to ask him a number of times, but the fear always got the better of her... until it was only a couple of days away.

"You, uh, know what you want to do on Friday yet?"

Sam, Oliver, Traci, Andy even Frank had taken the day off. Noelle was due back but had delayed her return by a week.

He cleared his throat a couple of times. "I'm trying to figure that out."

He had come a long way with Andy and was actually okay with her being around. What he wasn't sure of was if he could let anyone else in on his pain. He'd gotten better with that too, sharing a little more with his friends, but not in the same way and nowhere near to the same degree.

Andy couldn't have known that though. Sure she knew they had come a long way but this was… it was the thing that tore them apart before and although they'd talked it through, it was hard not to be pulled back. "You want me to find something else to do that day?"

Sam offered her a hesitant smile. "I really don't know yet Andy, but let's play it by ear okay? I know I want to go to the grave site but I'm not sure I can go when Nash has everyone else going. If you want, you can go with her."

Andy tried to hide her disappointment. She did want to be there for Traci, but Sam would always be her first priority. "Sure, yeah, I can…"

"Hey."

"It's okay," she assured him.

He took hold of one of her hands and rubbed his thumb along her knuckles. "Can I let you know?"

"Of course."

In the end, Sam and Andy went to the cemetery together first thing in the morning. She was so glad that he asked her; they could both literally feel the weight being lifted off her shoulders. Sam squeezed her hand; he knew what it meant to her, to them. She attempted a watery smile. "Whatever you need, okay. If you decide you want me to wait in the truck…"

Sam pulled her in and tucked her under his arm as they made their way out to his vehicle. "I want you with me, always."

They only lasted about fifteen minutes with neither one saying a single word, just staring at the stone and holding tightly to one another. Andy told Sam to take his time as she started back to the truck. She knew he had visited Jerry a few times on his own and wanted them to have a moment alone. He could only nod his appreciation as her body slipped away from his.

She watched from the cab as he spoke to his friend and she quietly grieved over what Sam lost, what Traci and Leo lost, and for her part in it all.

Sam came back and wiped the tears from her face before pressing his lips gently to hers. He wished he could have done it right like this the first time, but they were here now and that's all that mattered.

Sam dropped Andy off at home. He was heading to the barn to hit the gym and the heavy bag, while she went with Traci and the rest of the group to visit the grave. When they arrived and saw the fresh flowers already there, Traci reached for Andy's hand and gave it a squeeze. Sam was with them in spirit.

Afterward, they all went to Traci's new place.

Andy had only been back about a couple of months when her friend had decided that she and Leo needed a fresh start. So they found themselves a small home with a big backyard, a spare room for her mom, and a family picture of them with Jerry hanging reverently above the mantle.

The mat at the door let everyone know that they were welcome to walk in. But just like always, they each took pause, a moment to remember before passing over it and past the threshold.

As soon as she entered the yard, Andy turned to look up and down the street but there was no sign of his truck. Traci met her half way and linked up their arms. "He'll be here; he's probably just waiting for all the tears to dry."

Andy nodded.

"Yeah, I should probably go check on Oliver."

* * *

The holidays were fast approaching and as usual Andy had a head start on everything, including something new... baking. Both Sam and Sarah had been working with her and by the beginning of December her freezer was full of goodies, ready for any holiday visitors that might drop by. She was still working on Sam to let her have either a birthday party for him or some type of Christmas get-together with all of their friends. At the very least, she was hosting Rookie Christmas and she knew the boys would appreciate it.

She had just gotten back from another shopping trip and had a few last minute (for her) things for the gift box. She pulled it from the back of her closet and opened it up, grinning as she lifted the item on top to make room for the new purchases.

She and Sam were still going strong; they had developed a great routine. With talking and sharing coming a lot easier, their relationship was as strong as ever. They still had their moments, but the fights were fewer and less intense as they had found their happy medium, made time and space their friend.

They had long since made it through the photo album and a few that Andy's father had dug up too. She hadn't told him yet, but Andy had already started this new one with pictures from her first night back at the Penny, Christmas in the Spring, and the Back to School Barbecue all featuring the two of them and their life together.

She flipped it open, never able to resist taking a quick peek when she had the house to herself. She loved the picture of Sam holding Olivia. They had babysat for Frank and Noelle a few times now and with Noelle back at work, they already had plans to help them out again.

She laughed at the picture of her and the Shaw girls. They had already started calling her Auntie Andy and they loved ganging up on Sam with her… literally. The picture was of all the girls and Andy in Oliver's backyard in a dog pile on top of Sam. His smile was the biggest. In the background, she could even see Zoe grinning.

Andy loved how things had worked out for her and Oliver; she was really glad for them. Happy for any help she and Sam could give.

They had watched the girls a few times, even having them over to her condo so Zoe and Oliver could have the house to themselves. Andy had also taken to organizing monthly pot luck suppers. They would get together at someone's house with all the kids and spouses alike. The couples with children were especially appreciative; it was like a night out but without worrying about who could or would take the kids. They took care of themselves. The Shaw girls loved Leo and Christian, who was splitting his time between Denise and Chris but never seemed to miss a party. And they **all** thought Olivia was the best thing going. Even Sarah and her family showed up when the supper was at Sam or Andy's.

Andy quickly tucked the book away when she heard Sam's key in the lock.

* * *

Traci was standing just outside her office. It was the night before Sam's birthday and they were all going out for a drink after work. Andy and Nick were out on a call and Sam had headed out to the scene too. He and Traci had been in an interview but they needed someone to go out right away. Traci had finished the interview about five minutes ago and was just waiting for Sam to come back to update him.

Oliver walked up behind her. "Hey Nash, big day tomorrow."

"Yep, Swarek's havin' a birthday."

Oliver waved her off. "Yeah, yeah, that too. I'm talking about one week 'til poker night."

Traci shook her head and smiled. The guys actually hadn't had a poker night since Jerry passed and Oliver obviously missed it. She was glad she could convince them to do it. It was at her house after the memorial where they had been laughing over memories of Jerry and the poker stories just kept coming and coming. Traci decided then and there that it needed to happen again. She knew the first one would probably be bitter sweet but she knew how much they all enjoyed it and just like everything else, it would get easier.

Oliver put his arm around Traci; he could see that she was happy for them but sad at the same time. "You comin' over to Sammy's, you know," he paused, "as Proxy."

"I don't know Oliver."

"Up to you, but we'd love to have you." He squeezed at her shoulder. "Maybe even make some new traditions huh? Not just the old boys' club?"

"That sounds nice," she conceded. "Maybe you should run it by Sam and Frank; see what they think." But her mind was already considering the gifts she could bring for each of them in Jerry's stead. "And remind Swarek to dust off his poker chips while you're at it."

Oliver jerked his head back in surprise. "Why would he need to do that?"

Traci scratched at the back of her head. "I thought you guys hadn't played in a while."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure we're going to have a brand new set to play with this time."

Traci narrowed her eyes. "What makes you think that?"

"Because if he doesn't get that damn poker set for his birthday tomorrow, I'm announcing my retirement effective immediately."

"Ha!" Traci burst out. "I should have known he would have told you."

"Yeah." He looked around to make sure no one was around. "Showed me too."

"What?!"

"Keep it down; McNally's been lurking lately trying to figure out what Sam got her for Christmas. It's fine if she gets mad at Sam, but I can't risk pissing her off if I want to keep my place as second in line."

Traci had to laugh at his logic. _Unbelievable_

"In fact if I had known what was at stake, well I might not have been so eager to bring those two back together."

Traci's laugh got louder. "You?"

"What do you mean; me?" He practically screeched. "I was the one that talked Sammy into the detective gig and who told you when Sammy's birthday was huh? Technically none of this…" He waved towards the grinning couple that just came in through the sally port, "might have ever happened.

"What would we do without you?" Traci asked when she finally caught her breath.

"I weep at the mere thought."

* * *

Andy woke up early the next morning and slipped from her bed to head straight to the kitchen.

It was December 15th and she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

She made all of Sam's favorites before loading up a tray and taking it into her bedroom. She watched as he situated himself on top of the covers and dug in. Her present for him was set at the foot of the bed waiting.

His eyes danced between the familiar shape and the love of his life, his dimples taking up permanent residence in his cheeks. From the looks of things, Oliver's retirement would have to wait.

She was all in… again.


End file.
